Disorganized Attachment: Heal By Embracing Your Needs

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore disorganized, or “fearful,” attachment. This complex style occurs when emotional intimacy and distance both feel uncomfortable, and typically arises based on difficult life experiences. They unpack why this attachment pattern forms, what it feels like on the inside, and how it can change over time. Dr. Rick explains how to break the Catch-22 of disorganized attachment, and how fully embracing and expressing your needs can be the key to finding stability. Topics include hypersensitivity, repression, experiencing out, self-regulation, and why "boring" relationships can be transformative.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:20: How attachment theory developed, and how it has evolved

11:20: How attachment styles shift based on life experience

15:25: Social environment and internal reliability

23:55: The catch 22 of healing disorganized attachment

29:35: Leveraging coping mechanisms for healing

32:20: Hypersensitivity and embracing your need for attunement

39:50: Repression, and experiencing out

45:45: Recognizing what’s true, and how reality is reliable

48:25: Caring for the body, and innate self-love

53:45: Unique therapeutic approaches to disorganized attachment styles

55:25: Embracing what you really want, and creating a coherent narrative

58:40: Bottom-up self-regulation, self-trust, and internalizing positive feedback

1:04:20: When stable relationships are “boring”

1:06:55: Self-respect and freedom in communication

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