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Ep#200 You're Trying to Control The Wrong Thing
Manage episode 515163385 series 3000762
Most leaders think they’re holding it all together under duress. But often what they’re really doing is gripping the steering wheel of a car that’s already crashed.
Control feels powerful, but it’s actually a symptom of fear. When fear runs the show, we end up managing people instead of leading them, and circumstances instead of ourselves. We seek approval and safety in all the wrong places, forgetting that real leadership begins inside us.
In this episode, Dex unpacks why our craving for control is so strong, how it quietly fuels burnout, and what leadership looks like when we stop trying to control the wrong thing.
You’ll learn:
- Why fear and control always travel together
- How perfectionism, micromanagement, and the need to be right drain your energy
- The hidden costs: lost trust, disengagement, quiet quitting, and team dysfunction
- What true control really is — agency over your inner state
- How to lead through curiosity, psychological safety, warmth, and mentoring
Dex shares stories from his early leadership days, lessons learned from high-achieving professionals, and practical ways to reclaim your energy and influence without resorting to control.
If you’ve been exhausted from trying to hold everything together, this episode will help you reclaim your power and start leading in a way that actually works — for you, your team, and your career.
Chat with expert stress coach Dex AI at https://dexrandall.com
----------------------------------- Burnout Resources:
Get 1-on-1 burnout recovery coaching at https:/mini.dexrandall.com
For even more TIPS see
FACEBOOK: @coachdexrandall
INSTAGRAM: @coachdexrandall
LINKEDIN: @coachdexrandall
X: @coachdexrandall
See https://linktr.ee/coachdexrandall for all links
Fejezetek
1. Intro and celebrating episode 200 (00:00:00)
2. Free Resources and expert coach Dex AI (00:01:25)
3. Today's Topic: Controlling the Wrong Thing (00:02:59)
4. The Illusion of Control in Leadership (00:03:50)
5. Personal Experience with Control (00:06:59)
6. Emotional Intelligence in Leadership (00:07:59)
7. Managing Fear and Control (00:08:59)
8. The Pitfalls of Micromanagement and Perfectionism (00:10:30)
9. Psychological Safety and Team Dynamics (00:11:23)
10. True Control and Personal Agency (00:12:28)
11. The Power of Emotional Regulation (00:13:20)
12. Curiosity and Psychological Safety (00:14:40)
13. Service Mindset and Mentorship (00:15:23)
14. Invite to work with Dex and Dex AI coach (00:17:20)
226 epizódok
Manage episode 515163385 series 3000762
Most leaders think they’re holding it all together under duress. But often what they’re really doing is gripping the steering wheel of a car that’s already crashed.
Control feels powerful, but it’s actually a symptom of fear. When fear runs the show, we end up managing people instead of leading them, and circumstances instead of ourselves. We seek approval and safety in all the wrong places, forgetting that real leadership begins inside us.
In this episode, Dex unpacks why our craving for control is so strong, how it quietly fuels burnout, and what leadership looks like when we stop trying to control the wrong thing.
You’ll learn:
- Why fear and control always travel together
- How perfectionism, micromanagement, and the need to be right drain your energy
- The hidden costs: lost trust, disengagement, quiet quitting, and team dysfunction
- What true control really is — agency over your inner state
- How to lead through curiosity, psychological safety, warmth, and mentoring
Dex shares stories from his early leadership days, lessons learned from high-achieving professionals, and practical ways to reclaim your energy and influence without resorting to control.
If you’ve been exhausted from trying to hold everything together, this episode will help you reclaim your power and start leading in a way that actually works — for you, your team, and your career.
Chat with expert stress coach Dex AI at https://dexrandall.com
----------------------------------- Burnout Resources:
Get 1-on-1 burnout recovery coaching at https:/mini.dexrandall.com
For even more TIPS see
FACEBOOK: @coachdexrandall
INSTAGRAM: @coachdexrandall
LINKEDIN: @coachdexrandall
X: @coachdexrandall
See https://linktr.ee/coachdexrandall for all links
Fejezetek
1. Intro and celebrating episode 200 (00:00:00)
2. Free Resources and expert coach Dex AI (00:01:25)
3. Today's Topic: Controlling the Wrong Thing (00:02:59)
4. The Illusion of Control in Leadership (00:03:50)
5. Personal Experience with Control (00:06:59)
6. Emotional Intelligence in Leadership (00:07:59)
7. Managing Fear and Control (00:08:59)
8. The Pitfalls of Micromanagement and Perfectionism (00:10:30)
9. Psychological Safety and Team Dynamics (00:11:23)
10. True Control and Personal Agency (00:12:28)
11. The Power of Emotional Regulation (00:13:20)
12. Curiosity and Psychological Safety (00:14:40)
13. Service Mindset and Mentorship (00:15:23)
14. Invite to work with Dex and Dex AI coach (00:17:20)
226 epizódok
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