Episode 20: From Conflict to Connection: Transform Your Marriage with Rich Heller

The Evolved Caveman Podcast w/ Dr. John Schinnerer

In this episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast, Dr. John sits down with Rich Heller—a marriage whisperer with two decades of experience and the brains behind the *Rich in Relationship* podcast. Think of Rich as a relationship mechanic who helps couples stop setting emotional fires and start building actual connection (without needing a fire extinguisher or a therapist on speed dial).

They dig into the juicy stuff: Rich’s own WTF moments that shaped his career, how generational trauma likes to crash your relationship uninvited, and why shame is the sneaky gremlin screwing things up behind the scenes without your knowledge or permission. They also take a sledgehammer to outdated ideas of masculinity (spoiler: being emotionally clueless isn’t sexy), and explore how to create relationships that don’t suck—with actual tools, not just good vibes.

This one’s for anyone who wants less drama and more connection—minus the woo-woo fluff.

01:32 Rich Heller's Journey to Marriage Coaching

04:16 Personal Reflections on Divorce

05:08 Managing Anger and Emotional Triggers

11:33 Conflict Resolution in Relationships

17:22 Understanding and Releasing Trauma

30:05 The Metaphor of Cleaning the House

30:49 Exploring Masculinity Myths

31:43 The High Plains Drifter and Masculine Myths

32:48 Replacing Outdated Masculine Myths

35:39 The Importance of Connection and Vulnerability

36:16 From Fixer to Feeler: Helping Men Connect

39:48 Understanding Men's Root Fears in Relationships

42:41 The Role of Shame in Men's Lives

47:55 The Difference Between Shame and Guilt

53:08 Relational Wealth and Personal Fulfillment

About Dr. John’s Cool Guest;

Rich Heller, MSW, PCC, ELI-MP, Rich is the podcast host of Rich in Relationship, and Marriage Transformation Coach. He helps couples move from conflict to synergy, from parallel lives to true connection, and from routine to transformation.

Rich holds a BA from Vassar College in sustainable social change and an MSW from Hunter School of Social Work, specializing in relational dynamics. He is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Master Practitioner of MER and NLP, and a trained mediator and parent coordinator. Rich has helped thousands of couples break free from old patterns and build relationships rooted in love, partnership, and prosperity—including his own marriage of 20+ years.