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The Evolved Caveman w/ Dr. John Schinnerer

Dr. John Schinnerer -The Evolved Caveman

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The goal is success AND happiness at work AND at home. Short of that, you have neither success nor happiness. Dr. John focuses on the evolution of men in areas such as leadership, health, relationships, purpose, work, sex and self-mastery. He has been a Ph.D. and coach for over 20 years, working with Army Rangers, Navy SEALs, CEOs, elite athletes and high net worth individuals. His passion is the intersection of high performance, success and happiness. So, if you're looking for how to get th ...
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"The biggest barrier to success is not that others are unwilling to give but that we are afraid to ask.” - Adam Grant, NY Times bestselling author I love it when, the most powerful ideas are the simplest. Find out how you can begin to master the one tool that stands between you and your success: the ability to ask for what you need to succeed and b…
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One of the biggest factors in a happy, thriving life is meaning. Knowing your ‘why’, you can get through any ‘how.’ This show was previously aired in 2022, however it’s one of my all-time favorite episodes as the content is simple, actionable & significant. Topics covered… Why is meaning so important for us? How do you discover your meaning in life…
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What's the best way to strengthen your connection in your romantic relationship and navigate through the complexities of your deepest core emotional wounds? Join me, Dr. John, and my partner Joree Rose as we dive into the essential understanding of core wounds in relationships, shedding light on how these deep-seated emotional injuries can impact o…
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Love Isn’t Enough: Is Intensive Couples Therapy Right For You? Dr. John Schinnerer & Joree Rose, LMFT Join Joree and I in an in-depth conversation about our experience in intensive couples therapy (i.e., 2 six-hour days of therapy with Charlie & Linda Bloom!). We also go into our belief that intensives are a much more effective means to create posi…
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One of the biggest sources of human suffering comes from our tendency to avoid uncomfortable emotions. We are not taught how to face these unpleasant, somewhat frequent experiences. Our first (and sometimes only) strategy is to suppress them, ignore them, or become overwhelmed by them. Yet how we meet and greet these difficult emotions with curiosi…
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Anyone who has ever been a people-pleaser can know how hard it is to be in relationships that don’t have reciprocity. It can feel like we give and give and give, and just because we are connected in the relationship, can think it’s enough, when in reality, we end up feeling depleted and resentful. In this joint episode, with my partner in life and …
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One partner has an anxious attachment style and gets triggered by her partner needing a time out during an argument, or threatening to leave. The other partner has an avoidant attachment style and gets emotionally flooded during disagreements. During these challenging moments, the anxious partner seeks to turn towards their partner, needing to reco…
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Psychedelics have been described as “the mind revealing itself to itself.” Recent research backs this notion up, showing the profound healing impact of psychedelics such as psilocybin (magic mushrooms), MDMA, and more. MDMA has been deemed “breakthrough status” by the FDA for folks struggling with PTSD. Psilocybin has been given “breakthrough statu…
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Let’s face it: couples argue. Disagreements are inevitable. Arguing is not a problem; in fact, there’s a lot of authenticity & freedom in being able to express yourself fully, even when you’re angry. The problem is when arguing is ineffective, or when anger & insults erode the safety & security of your relationship. However, there are proven ways t…
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Yoga is a group of physical, mental, energetic and spiritual practices which originated in ancient India, aim to still the mind and reduce human suffering (Duḥkha). Yoga can even include sexual energy in its practices. Yoga-like practices were first mentioned in the ancient Hindu text known as Rigveda. Yoga is referred to in a number of the Upanish…
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One of the most important pillars of a happy, thriving life is your relationship with your partner. Yet, so many of us struggle in this area. What do you need to be more satisfied in your relationship? How do you get your needs met? How do you put an end to having the same frikkin’ arguments over and over? How do you get a handle on your anger so y…
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In an epoch of disconnection, alienation, loneliness and lack of meaning, how do we begin to tap into happiness? How might we start to cultivate personal power and self-confidence? How can the challenges we face ignite and illuminate our gifts to the world? Join Dr. John as he chats with Stephanie James, a psychotherapist, author & filmmaker on the…
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Join Joree and I in our new monthly Master Class series on Relationships: https://joreerose.com/theawaremethodmasterclass/ And join us in Costa Rica Sept 28-Oct. 5, 2024: https://joreerose.com/retreats/costa-rica/ In this joint episode with my partner Joree Rose, LMFT,, we talk with esteemed therapists, Charlie and Linda Bloom, who were an integral…
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At the root of all happy and fulfilled relationships are deep connections - emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. Connection is something we all say we want and yet not many know how to actually achieve it in a sustainable way. In this episode, Joree and I share some far out stories about our plunge into spirituality, owl familiars, psy…
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2023 was a rough year for me. And I suspect it may have been rough for you too. In hopes of lightening things up as we head into a more peaceful and productive 2024, I interview Alli Goldberg, an up and coming comedian who, among other things, hosts a live dating show, Love Isn’t Blind, in which the men cannot speak. Alli and I talk about what she …
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Even though men as a group have power, individual men often feel powerless. These contradictory experiences contribute to men’s hurting—hurting others and being hurt. Depression has risen to unprecedented highs in men. Loneliness among men is an epidemic. How do we reconcile these disparate truths? Based on more than fifteen years of research, Keit…
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At the root of all happy and fulfilled relationships are deep connections - emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and sexual. Connection is something we all say we want and yet not many of us know how to actually achieve it in a way that is truly sustainable. In this episode, Joree and I share some stories from our recent trip to Africa that highligh…
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Earlier this year, I went through a breakup with my partner, Joree. It was bruuuuutal. Fortunately, we reconciled after two months and now are stronger than ever. Yet, it raises a critical question: How do you BEST deal with the painful breakup from a loved one? We know that love is addictive. So breakups are a lot like kicking a substance abuse pr…
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To what extent are you sexually repressed? Do you have a hard time talking about sex? Body parts? Can you ask for what you want in bed? Do you even know what you want? Great sex is an important part of a satisfying relationship. Find out more about how to level up the sexual part of your relationship in this episode of The Evolved Caveman. Topics c…
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The Wisdom of Elders. What can we learn from the wisdom of men who have suffered trauma, made mistakes & risen above it all? As it turns out, we can learn an incredible amount. Don St John’s life has been nothing short of miraculous. He suffered abuse in childhood—violent beatings & constant verbal abuse. In his early twenties, he was incapable of …
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Star Wars. Lord Of The Rings. Call Of Duty. Homer’s Odyssey. Spiderman. All are examples of the Hero’s Journey. Popularized by the famed mythologist Joseph Campbell, this story arc is etched into our minds and hearts as what we are to do if we are to succeed as men. Yet, what happens if our lives are merely ordinary? What if we never get the chance…
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Slightly over two weeks ago, Joree and I came home from an epic Africa trip. The following day, the police came to my door to tell me my 23-year-old son, Brett, was dead. As always, I try to use experiences in my life to authentically and honestly teach others - how to feel, how to cope, how to make meaning, and how to rejuvenate and re-open the he…
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The cliche’ that happiness is an inside job is true. Jon Kabat-Zinn said, “wherever you go, there you are.” The foundational step to a happier, more fulfilling life is self-awareness. And 95% of us will quickly self-report that we are highly self-aware. In truth, it’s about 12% of us. One of the most powerful ways to increase self-awareness is medi…
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Research from Gallup Organization has shown for decades that employee engagement is minimal. Gallup defines employee engagement as the involvement and enthusiasm of employees in both their work and workplace. Yet, only 23% of the workforce is actively engaged in their job, while 25% is actively disengaged. This bottom quartile has been shown to hav…
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New developments in the treatment of mental health challenges have been painfully slow to arrive. Talk therapy, lithium, prozac, electroshock therapy have all developed in the past 150 years. There have been a number of new medications developed but each has its own profile of positive and negative benefits. And few are highly effective (i.e., help…
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What Aren’t We Addicted To?! We can be addicted to alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, narcotics, exercise, sex, shopping, social media, gaming and more. What is addiction? And how do you know if you are addicted? Most importantly, what do you do about it? Join Dr. John for a penetrating interview with clinical social worker and substance abuse counselor…
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After coming back together after a short, but painful breakup, Joree and I consciously adopted daily and weekly habits and tools to strengthen our relationship. While we had always put time and attention into our relationship, it didn’t always result in the connection or alignment that we both needed to feel seen, heard, validated or fulfilled. In …
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“Kill yourself.” “The world would be better off without you.” This is the inner voice of a client of mine. This voice has been existent within him for over a decade. I always assumed this was simply extreme depression. But what if it’s not? What if this voice originates from someone other than his true self? What is the brain is porous and can abso…
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Lying. Ghosting. Stalking. Sexual assault. Bread crumbing. There is a lot that has changed in today’s dating world. The vast majority of people now meet their partner via online dating sites (e.g., OKCupid, Match, Tinder, Bumble, etc.). What are the best ideas about how to expertly maneuver this ever-changing landscape? Join Dr. John with Irina Man…
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Paraphrasing Tim Ferris, “I don’t know any billionaires who don’t do psychedelics.” Why is this the case? What do they know that you don’t? The field of psychedelics is undergoing a renaissance. It has been called the 5th wave of psychotherapy. The research results are impressive. The FDA has fast-tracked both MDMA and psilocybin as break through t…
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Here’s the true story of two therapists who fell in love, then struggled in their relationship with some repetitive, seemingly unbreakable patterns that lead to a painful breakup and how they eventually healed to be better than ever. In my Season 5 premiere, me and my now-again fiancee, Joree Rose, LMFT, share our very vulnerable journey over the p…
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Bonus Summer Episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast! Trigger alert! This episode discusses the topics of suicide, self-harm, depression, narcissistic parental abuse & anxiety. This is a deeply personal, difficult & revealing interview WITH MY DAUGHTER! In the hour long interview, Molly bravely shares her story beginning with her junior year in high…
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When I was a graduate student back in the 1990’s, it was a career killer for scientists to admit to believing in God, Source or something larger than self. Much has changed since then. Despite my strong scientific training at UC Berkeley, the older I’ve gotten the more I lean into spirituality. Science is one lens through which I view the world, bu…
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Personal development isn't for just the spiritual or effeminate man. It’s for every man. It is a necessary and courageous journey into your inner world. It takes balls. It requires stepping into your fear of the unknown. This is where the real treasure can be found - contentment, happiness, satisfaction, purpose and fulfilling relationships. After …
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What happens when you walk away from the pinnacle of success? What happens when you walk away from the traditional path to success? If it’s not just wealth & power, what does success truly mean? Where is the room in “success” for happiness? Why is looking inward to critical for success & happiness? How does authenticity enter into the equation of a…
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The old term is Multiple Personality Disorder. (MPD) The new term is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Different terms for the same psychological condition - a core self surrounded by a myriad of other personalities that vary in age, personality, sex, and temperament. Normally, MPD develops as a result of severe and repeated trauma at a young a…
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In a recent FiveThirtyEight poll, 60 percent of men surveyed said society puts pressure on men to behave in a way that is unhealthy or bad. Men account for 80 percent of suicides in the United States, and 3 in 10 men have suffered from depression. Ed Adams and Ed Frauenheim say a big part of the problem is a model of masculinity that's become outmo…
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We often make the mistake of equating longevity with success when it comes to marriage. “Wow! You’ve been married 30 years? Congratulations!” “Well, we’ve been miserable for the last 10.” Longevity does not equal success in relationship. Were we living back in tribal times, a marriage of 15 years would have been a massive success since we would be …
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Is meaningful work an oxymoron like exact estimate, working vacation or virtual reality? Can we have our cake and eat it too with work that we get paid for that we truly find meaningful and fulfilling? Studies have shown that meaning is an integral part of a happy, thriving life. Meaning gives us passion and motivation and creativity. It buoys our …
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Wow! What a talk! Vulnerability. Honesty. It does not get a whole lot deeper or more helpful than this one. What an absolutely amazing man Bob Conlin is! How we experience ourselves as men largely through our body and our ability to be active and strong. And what happens when that goes away (temporarily or permanently)? A frank talk about how physi…
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Shame is the dominatrix of the other emotions. It dresses in a leather suit with a zippered mouth, armed with a cat o’ nine tails. It can outlast and overpower any other emotion. Shame makes other emotions get on their knees and lick it’s high-heeled shoes. Shame is the quiet belief, in our darkest moments, that we are unworthy of love, connection …
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Given our recent COVID pandemic, banking crisis, economic difficulties, layoffs, financial worry, relational challenges, depression, anxiety and more, the topic of resiliency has never ever been more important and needed. Resiliency, the ability to bounce forward following difficulty, is a learnable skill. And all of us have been wildly gobsmacked …
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Good vibes only. Think positively. If you’re depressed, you’re just not praying hard enough. Inspiration porn. We are bombarded with messages to be positive and happy on the daily. It is a Western ideal to pursue and prioritize happiness. But can we have too much of a good thing? The answer is yes, we can, according to research. Happiness cannot be…
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How does a “recovering asshole” come to be a reputed men’s coach and Coach of the Year? What is a “recovering asshole”? Someone who is sarcastic, one who pushes buttons, and gets a rise out of others. Someone who was raised with a lot of judgment around status, wealth and women. Someone who roasts others in order to make themselves feel better and …
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What if something were impacting your arguments with your spouse? What is something that happened as an infant dramatically influenced how your romantic relationships work out? What if it were readily changed? Would you want to know about it? It just so happens that our attachment styles, those relational blueprints that develop when we are very yo…
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Narcissist. The word is so overused as to apply to everyone and no one. What’s going on? Well, narcissism is an important issue to me personally, as I have a great deal of personal experience dealing with these folks. I’ll get into that a bit on this episode. And narcissism is truly a big deal when you consider that potentially 1 out of every 10 pe…
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One of the largest issues I’ve seen with men is the over identification with “the thinker” - the thoughts in our heads. Many of us think that we ARE the thinker, not realizing that there is vastly more to us than mere thought. There are emotions, values, bodily sensations, interconnectedness, and the spiritual dimensions. It’s a one-two punch betwe…
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You know these people: The book smart student who wouldn’t survive 5 minutes on the streets of the big city. The guy with poor grades that everyone likes and makes a great team captain. The manager that doesn’t understand coding at all yet can inspire his team to outperform others. What’s the difference? The difference is between traditional intell…
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The experience of failure sucks - often resulting in depression, self-loathing and identity crisis. But if you follow the rules of failure—seeing beyond the mess and picking through the good stuff left in life’s shit heap of life’s catastrophes — you can bounce forward from failure into success. Embrace the F-word and let hard times make you strong…
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This is a bonus episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast as anger has been on the rise worldwide since the start of COVID. This episode was originally recorded in 2021 during the height of COVID. However, the gems included within will dazzle for eternity. My esteemed guest is Dr. Thomas DiBlasi, an anger management expert and psychologist. So check t…
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