When we worry that diabetes makes social stuff harder

Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes

I often say that diabetes sits on the fault lines in our lives: If you're struggling with your relationship to food, diabetes makes it trickier to figure out how to eat. If you’re challenged in asking for what you need from friends, diabetes adds extra pressure. If you’re finding yourself in conflict with your spouse, diabetes sits right there.

In this week’s episode, Jessica comes on to the show to talk about the worries she has about where diabetes is sitting for her 7-year old: Grace is struggling to make connections with peers, but Jessica isn’t sure how much diabetes is playing a role.

Bottom line: Grace doesn’t like it when classmates ask about her devices. And she’s in good company there — many kids are uncomfortable about that. At the same time, I pointed out to Jessica that Grace’s classmates don’t seem to be mean, just curious. Together we thought about ways that Jessica could explore with Grace about what, exactly, makes her uncomfortable, as well as playing with different ways she could respond.

At the same time, I leaned into validation, knowing that that could be so powerful for Grace. Jessica said that “if I were in second grade and had diabetes, I would probably feel that way too” — and I reflected on how great it could be for Grace to hear that from her.

Certainly, we did problem solving, from Jessica organizing playdates to talking to the classroom teaching to thinking about the value of a social skills group for little Grace. But mostly we sat with how hard it is for a kid to have type 1. We sat with that uniquely parental fantasy we have that T1D is struggle enough and that our kids should have nothing else to deal with. At the end of the day, this is what caring parents like Jessica wish for their kids.

Hope you enjoy the show!