21: What Comes Up When the Dust Settles After Diagnosis

Sweet Talk for Parents of Kids with Type One Diabetes

As a T1D parent, you go through a flurry of activity and adjustment when your child is diagnosed. The years that follow can be very difficult with daily management and monitoring, and it may look like you have it under control. The truth is that we all need the support that comes from other T1D parents and other friends and family members—and we aren’t always good at asking for what we need. Join us for today’s question from a concerned mom who admits that she needs those check-ins from time to time.

Show Highlights:

• Guest: Beth, whose daughter (Vanessa-age 8) was diagnosed at age 4
• Why the sudden T1D diagnosis and week-long hospital stay were extra traumatic experiences while Vanessa’s parents were away on a planned trip to Hawaii
• How Beth’s goal has always been to keep T1D in the background of her daughter’s life as much as possible
• Beth’s First Question: “Where and when can we start to give her more responsibility in handling her T1D management? I’m concerned about the technical side of things and the emotional side for her.”
• JoAnne’s Answer: “One thing that happens for kids is that when they want something, they learn to take more responsibility to get that something. That “something” can usually be the motivator or the fact that they just want to take on more responsibility in their T1D management. There is nothing artificial that you need to do for this to happen; your child’s normal developmental ability will gradually shift to her taking more control. If you put her in environments, like camp, where she is around more T1D kids like herself, kids usually come home feeling way more empowered to “do the next thing.” If she isn’t gunning to take on something new, I wouldn’t push it on her. If you are concerned, I would advise that you immerse her in an environment with other T1D kids, so she can think about what she wants to do. I would not be concerned about it at this point. As with most developmental things, these responsibilities are variable from kid to kid, and I’m glad to hear about your commitment to letting her be a kid for as long as possible. You will probably see her ask for more responsibility as she grows up.
• Beth’s Second Question: “This disease is so invisible to family and friends. As the dust settles, do you have recommendations about reaching out and communicating our needs to get more support from friends and family?”
• JoAnne’s Answer: “I can’t plug family camp enough. If you’ve been, keep going. You will meet people that you’ll be friends with for life who speak the same language. My guess is that you are holding back with people who don’t have T1D in their families. I think you should identify what you need from people and be aware of where you are holding back and feeling isolated. Let them know that you feel lonely and sometimes need to share how difficult T1D is. Don’t be afraid to ask people to let you share when you feel down and to check in on you from time to time.”

Resources:

Visit my website for available resources and upcoming courses/webinars: www.diabetessweettalk.com

*Visit my website to get my Self-Care Kit to bring more ease and balance into your diabetes management routine!

*For help with the emotional and parenting challenges of facing T1D management, join one of our live recording sessions by clicking the banner at the top of the website homepage.

*For help in diabetes management, check out Sweet Talk’s Put Diabetes In Its Place coaching course. This is the course I wish I’d had when my kids were diagnosed.

*For a more hopeful future for you and your T1D child, consider the After Diagnosis coaching course. It’s designed specifically for parents whose child was diagnosed within the last year. Let me help you find a faster path to calm.

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