A foul-mouthed Bachelor/Bachelorette recap show created by wannabe celebrity chef Amanda Quincosa and washed up rapper J Waves. Currently hosted by Waves, Amanda (aka Mandy), and Scotty Boombox. Brought to you by Sparse Mansion Media.
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Jon Gregory aka J Waves loves rap music and having a good time. Lurk Mode is what happens when a hip hop MC who is obsessed with Prince, sneakers, and Law & Order: SVU has his own podcast. Come have a lurk, we know you'll find something you like.
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The Bachelor - Season 27 (Finale & After the Final Rose)
1:02:11
1:02:11
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1:02:11
Although we've come to the end of the road, I have no problem letting go. The Zachelor is finally over and the ending was not surprising. But what about those Jess rumors?? Look, I'm just trying to think of something to write, I fucked my back up at the gym. I mean, I'm not any more stoned than usual, I just want to lay down, ok? This episode of Ba…
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The Bachelor - Season 27 (SEX WEEK)
45:48
45:48
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45:48
Zach Shallcross is a lucky man. But he is not a smart one. At the very least, he is easily influenced. So it was disappointing to see how royally he ruined Fantasy Suites aka Sex Week by not trusting the process on a show that is CONSTANTLY reminding its participants to trust the process. We all saw what happened with Clayton ("the worst Bachelor e…
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The Bachelor - Season 27 (Women Tell All)
38:52
38:52
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38:52
On the last season of Bachelor Massacre, I referred to the Women Tell All as "Week 9" even though it was in the same week as Week 8. Then I called Fantasy Suites "Week 10" ... Was I right? Was I wrong? Does it matter? Ask someone who isn't a Virgo. This season's WTA was pretty standard though it did have some dope moments, from Jess's surprising co…
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 8 (Hometowns)
39:53
39:53
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39:53
Zach is not a hometown hero. He's not really even a hometown homey. If anything, he's hometown hopeless. This is the episode where Zach finally strips away any last shred of respect I may have had for him. Fuck you, Zach. Go home and leave these women to me. The final four women of this season prove, yet again, to be more interesting, emotional, an…
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 7
50:49
50:49
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50:49
Welcome to Budapest, Hungary! The land of paprika and porn and palacsinta. My literal motherland, if only in the sense that my mother was born and raised there. It is indeed a great place to fall in love, certainly more than Tallinn, Estonia. Don't @ me. As my co-host Scotty Boombox points out, this episode is filled with cruelty. From a torturous …
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 6
40:15
40:15
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40:15
You know you're living in 2023 when you are watching people named Brooklyn and Kat fighting about disrespecting Charity as Ariel and Gabi look on. In my day it would have been Jessica and Irene going at it over Rebecca while Jill and Ashley watch. In this episode my co-host Mandy talks about the movie Encino Man and how there is some connection to …
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 5
48:50
48:50
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48:50
I fucked up. I never should have made the first episode of Bachelor Massacre Season 2 a two-parter. Now we are on Episode 6 of the podcast but Week 5 of the show, and it is going to mess with me for the rest of this Zachelor season, I just know it. Aaarrghghhh *clenches teeth* This was the worst episode of the season so far, whilst having what was …
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 4
53:04
53:04
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53:04
PLEASE RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE!! We've been working extra hard over here at Bachelor Massacre and Sparse Mansion Media and we really need your help to keep this going. Everyone involved in this show is really busy outside of podcasting and we don't have a ton of time to dive into promotion and "influencing" so if you do listen to the show or are ju…
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 3
52:00
52:00
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52:00
An overnight, love takes flight, an oversight, sho you right. Let's just address the elephant in the room: no recapper wants to release an episode critique after the NEXT episode has already dropped. But like Ferris Bueller said, life moves pretty fast. And sometimes things come up that are more important than editing your pop culture podcast. So h…
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 2
47:51
47:51
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47:51
If I ever were to get into the beverage game, I'd start with a Bang-esque masterpiece and call it "Bad Bitch Energy". Welcome to Week 2 of The Zachelor, and I gotta say, Zach is still boring but at least he was kinda sorta cool this episode (not to be confused with crazy sexy cool, which he is not). At least in parts. Please ignore this statement r…
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The Bachelor - Season 27, Week 1
42:53
42:53
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42:53
Zach is neither a snack nor a mack: discuss. Welcome back to the Bachelor Mansion, folks! It's time for another set of arrivals turned rivals, hot messes in dresses, and tears for fears. Season 27 of The Bachelor is finally here and our lead this year is (surprise!) a boring white bro grown in a petri dish using Jesse Palmer's DNA and a dab of hair…
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Bachelor Massacre is Back-N-Effect
35:42
35:42
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35:42
Cue up I Know You Got Soul or at the very least Try Again .... Bachelor Massacre is BACK. How we made it this long without talking some more shit is anyone's guess. From Clayton's total misfire to Gabby and Rachel's disaster of a season, we have missed out on some great drama worth commenting on. This time around J Waves will be taking on the hosti…
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"From the Fader to the Percolator: How DJ Pez Became the King of Coffee"
1:10:30
1:10:30
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1:10:30
In the mid 90s, I "performed" in a "talent show" at Chapel Hill High School. After an embarrassing debacle involving myself, a cassette single of "Shook Ones, Part II" and some awkward freestyles, a tall man with dangling dreadlocks took the stage. In a deep baritone, he spoke into a microphone and said the words that would haunt me for years to co…
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"I can't talk right now, I'm doing rat girl shit." - Lily's Rat Club
1:04:12
1:04:12
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1:04:12
Ah yes. In the words of Staind, "It's been awhile." But I am thrilled to be back with my favorite Ratfluencer from the UK, Lily from Lily's Rat Club! I can't stress enough how much I love her rat content, because hey, I think rats kick ass. And if you are sitting there thinking I'm crazy, then this is definitely the podcast for you. Lily and I brea…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 11 (After The Final Rose)
35:34
35:34
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35:34
*sigh* *SIGH* *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH* Was that me or Matt James? Who knows anymore, the sighs all blend together. This episode of After The Final Rose was fucking depressing and maybe this episode of Bachelor Massacre is too. We prolly talk more about race stuff than love stuff but that is the season that we were dealt. And perhaps that is a good thing …
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 11 (Finale)
32:28
32:28
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32:28
When they said this season was going to be "groundbreaking" I didn't think they meant that it would make me want to break a hole in the ground and crawl into it. Ooof. Amanda and I were really rooting for Matt James in the beginning of this season but he turned out to be yet another man-child scared of commitment, at least, if that's what his mom w…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 10 (Fantasy Suites)
53:51
53:51
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53:51
Dang! I miss the days of just talking about what a bitch Queen Victoria was. Now we actually have to deal with some serious emotions as things get very real for all the contestants and even Matt himself. Say what you will about this season's Bachelor, but the scene with his dad was legit moving and if you didn't get in your feelings over it YOU HAV…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 9 (The Women Tell All)
43:45
43:45
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43:45
I'm too tired to write a witty description of this episode but let's just say that The Women Tell All was a bit ho-hum seeming. I would have preferred a darker shade of lipstick on Serena C, but that's just me. Mandy would have liked to have seen a dang oil treatment on MJ's hair because that shit looked brittle, which I think is how I like blonde …
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 8 (Hometowns)
18:51
18:51
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18:51
Hey all. J Waves here. Last week was a mess as far as getting this show done. Monday night I was hit with an epic case of strep throat and my tonsils looked like scorched earth with gravel and scabs poured on it. 8 edibles, 6 pain pills, half a bottle of "severe" NyQuil, and some Amoxicillin later, I am doing much better. But in the brief window be…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 7
50:12
50:12
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50:12
OOF. A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN BACHELOR NATION SINCE OUR LAST EPISODE. I highly doubt you fux with this podcast and don't know what has been going on, but just in case: Matt James favorite Rachael Kirkconnell found herself facing accusations of racism when the tasteless behavior of her past was revealed, including apparently bullying a friend for likin…
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Whitney Dane is our very first Podcast Hollywood Clapback™
1:00:25
1:00:25
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1:00:25
Whitney Dane is a personal chef based in a rural town outside Chapel Hill, North Carolina and a good friend of mine. Though she was born in Manteo, part of our beautiful Outer Banks (like the TV show, only real), she found herself living in South Pasadena, California at young age where she became best friends with an actress by the name of Nicholle…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 6
56:31
56:31
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56:31
Waves here. You know that feeling when you start doing a podcast on a totally different podcast but then it no longer makes sense to keep doing it that way so you make it its own podcast? Cause that's, like, totally what happened here. What started out as a bonus feature on my podcast Lurk Mode has become it's own ting-a-ling. So if you've been rid…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 5
50:40
50:40
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50:40
Welcome to Bachelor Massacre! This episode originally appeared as bonus content on the J Waves podcast Lurk Mode. --------------- The moment we have all been waiting for has finally arrived: "The Queen" is finally dethroned and YOU LOVE TO SEE IT. Good fucking riddance. It's really a shame because I feel like the majority of what me and MandySays h…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 4
40:25
40:25
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40:25
Welcome to Bachelor Massacre! This episode originally appeared as bonus content on the J Waves podcast Lurk Mode. --------------- UGGGGGH making a podcast is exhausting, y'all. Me and MandySays watch The Bachelor on Tuesday night, then do the podcast, and then I get up at the crack and edit 4 eva while simultaneously trying to buy stocks and make s…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 3
45:55
45:55
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45:55
Welcome to Bachelor Massacre! This episode originally appeared as bonus content on the J Waves podcast Lurk Mode. --------------- I hope Bachelor contestant Sarah Trott has been staying hydrated because the amount of tears she shed this weak was torrential. Yet even as I write this I am finding out that she had been hanging with G-Eazy before going…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 2
38:43
38:43
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38:43
Welcome to Bachelor Massacre! This episode originally appeared as bonus content on the J Waves podcast Lurk Mode. --------------- So this week on The (Quarantined) Bachelor there aren't a lot surprises as far as format but questions are indeed raised, mainly WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS WRONG WITH VICTORIA? Is she a producer plant? We don't really deba…
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The Bachelor - Season 25, Week 1
22:54
22:54
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22:54
Welcome to Bachelor Massacre! This episode originally appeared as bonus content on the J Waves podcast Lurk Mode. --------------- As they say in the clock industry, timing is everything. So we are going to wait one more day to post our official first episode because (insert air horns) it's officially BACHELOR SEASON and boy do we got a hot one. Oh,…
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Interview and 90s Rap Trivia with Eric Steuer
1:00:32
1:00:32
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1:00:32
Eric Steuer is who I strive to be. A lifetime hip hop artist, podcast host, writer, husband & father, beekeeper, race car driver, cyclops, and all around cool dude*. I knew him back in the Meanest Man Contest days but his rap career has never dwindled - from Not the 1s to Dos Feeliz my dude has stayed active. But besides just hip hop we have a lot …
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It's finally here. My "Chinese Democracy". My "Detox". My "The Queen's Gambit". What can I say? Like many a podcast with a twitchy host, this podcast is a gateway into my mind and the things that I like. Rap. Shoes. Television. I don't want to spend forever talking about it because hopefully we'll be growing together. I will say that if you have fu…
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