Can/Can’t Do/Don’t

Voice of the DBA

The other day, I asked my daughter if she wanted me to make her some eggs. She responded with a “Yes!” in text and came to sit up at the counter while I cooked for us both. We chatted a bit, and at one point she said, “Thanks for cooking, but it’s not that I can’t cook.”

I laughed a bit and responded with “this isn’t a can/can’t situation, it’s a do/don’t or will/won’t one.” I know my girl can cook; I made sure all my kids learned how to cook. It’s that they often choose not to, hunting for leftovers, going for takeout, or skipping meals.

I’ve never been one who likes to hear “can’t” from anyone. Even today, when I coach kids and one say “I can’t do that,” my response is “yet. You can’t yet.”

It’s easy to think that because you don’t know how to do something, or don’t have confidence, or you’ve not done it well (or right) in the past, that you can’t do it now. That could be true, but often I find people default to “can’t” when they really mean they don’t want to do something or won’t do something. Easy to confuse those, and easy to brainwash yourself when using the wrong words too often.

There are things I can’t do. For example, I can’t run a 10.0s 100m dash. I can’t dunk a basketball, though there was a time I could. However, on the ranch or at work, I rarely find that I can’t do something if I apply myself with a little curiosity, effort, and experimentation. I can learn most things and do them well enough to meet a goal. Someone else might do them better, but I can learndo them.

I see too few people in the world who aren’t curious at work, aren’t willing to put in extra effort to get a task completed, or don’t feel an urge to tackle tasks outside of their comfort zone. I see fewer people dedicated to making an effort to learn outside of work time, whether on their own or at an event like a SQL Saturday.

Most of the people I see succeed and thrive in jobs aren’t smarter than others. They just do the work. And if they don’t know something, they teach themselves what they need in order to get the job done. They drive themselves forward.

Life is hard, but it gets easier when you want to put in effort to make it better.

Steve Jones

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