Santa with Muscles (1996)

The VHS Strikes Back

Recently described as the worst ever Christmas movie, Chris has chosen movie starring Thunder Lips himself, Terry Gene Bollea, or better known as Hulk Hogan. It's the Christmas movie oddity you've never heard of. And probably for good reason, until now.

Directed by John Murlowski, the film was produced on a relatively modest budget, which was probably spent entirely on Hogan’s appearance fee and the special effects, none of which were convincing enough to make this a holiday classic. Attempting to blend action, slapstick humor, and Christmas cheer into one very messy package, the result is a film that feels as awkward as a wig on a bodybuilder.

Despite the lack of chemistry, a confused premise, and a budget that was far less than what was needed for the visual effects, the production team managed to pull something together—although “together” seems a generous term. The filming was done mostly on location in the sunny California suburbs, which doesn't exactly scream "winter wonderland." And yet, there were attempts at creating Christmas magic, including a series of disjointed action sequences, an obligatory villain, and a final scene that looked like it was filmed in a single afternoon, probably after the crew had already packed up for the holiday season. Hogan himself was reportedly less than thrilled with his role but went through with it because, well, it was work. When it was finally released, Santa with Muscles didn't exactly set the box office on fire, but it did secure a spot in the annals of 'so-bad-it’s-good' cinema.

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Plot Summary:

Blake Thorne, a wealthy and self-absorbed businessman, suffers amnesia after an accident and believes he is actually Santa Claus. After the accident, he stumbles into a mall where a group of orphans and their caretaker are being threatened by a villain who wants to take control of the orphanage. With his newfound belief that he is Santa, Blake, now in the role of an unexpectedly jolly and bumbling hero, must save the children and foil the villain’s plans. All while struggling with his confused identity and learning the true meaning of Christmas.

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