Dr. Gail Miller on How to Move Through Grief and on Being Childless Not By Choice

The Exit Interview with Kim Rittberg

In this emotional and insightful episode of the podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Gail Miller, a maternal fetal medicine physician and trauma-informed life coach who specializes in supporting women who are childless not by choice. Gail shared her powerful perspective on grief, explaining that it can arise not only from losing what we've had but also from losing the experiences and life paths we never got to fulfill. Her honest reflections on her struggles with infertility and societal pressures to always appear positive genuinely resonated with me as did her take on “toxic positivity.” Gail's approach to handling emotional triggers, particularly for her clients navigating high-risk pregnancies, was both compassionate and practical. She provided her specialized framework and valuable strategies for transitioning from negative mindsets to acceptance and resilience, emphasizing the importance of sitting with one's pain rather than avoiding it and eventually creating a new life, filled with joy.

We discussed the concept of "the and," where Gail highlighted the coexistence of good and bad in life. Gail's personal journey, including the realization that embracing all emotions—both happy and sad—is crucial for genuine healing, struck a chord with me. For anyone grappling with loss or unplanned life paths, Gail's insights provide both validation and hope that joy and purpose can indeed coexist with grief.

In this episode you will learn:

• How people can move through grief in a healthy way
• How her experience being childless by choice make her want to coach others
• What is “the and” and why it’s so important
• What should people NOT say to someone childless not by choice
• How people who are childless not by choice can go from grieving to accepting to thriving
• How “toxic positivity” can cause unintentional harm
  

LINKS:

• Gail’s Website
• Gail’s Instagram