47 - Breaking Free from the Blame Game

Anger Management

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

When things go wrong, it’s tempting to point the finger — at your partner, your boss, even your kids. But blame doesn’t solve problems; it creates distance.

In this powerful episode of The Anger Management Podcast, anger expert Alastair Duhs explores "The Blame Game" — a hidden habit that damages relationships and keeps us stuck in conflict.

With help from AI co-hosts Jake and Sarah, Alastair unpacks why we blame, how it affects those around us and what you can do instead to build understanding and connection.

Key Takeaways:

-Blame is a defence mechanism: It often shows up automatically to protect our ego from discomfort, but it only deepens disconnection.

-Awareness is the first step: Simply noticing when you’re blaming — even in your own mind — opens the door to a different response.

-Own your part: Taking responsibility for your contribution, no matter how small, shifts you from victim mode into growth and empowerment.

-Practice empathy over accusation: Asking “Why might they be acting this way?” builds understanding and defuses conflict.

-Let go of “shoulds”: Rigid thinking about how things should have gone only fuels resentment. Focus on what can be done now.

-Communicate to connect: Use “I” statements, listen actively, and validate feelings to create safer, more productive conversations.

Links referenced in this episode:

angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management

angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking The Anger Cycle

angersecrets.com/course — Enroll in The Complete Anger Management System