Language Of Love

For Better Or Best Podcast

Do you know your partner's love languages? Charles and Shireen deep dive into their different preferences in this episode. Charles states that he'll be keeping his shades on the entire episode, to usher in R&B HouseParty energy. With summer approaching, Charles schedule is getting hectic. Shireen describes how tough it is to manage the house and her big girl job, not to mention keeping up with CJ's social life. Shireen's been watching 'Love Is Blind' and realized that understanding love languages isn't as common as it should be. The assumption is ususlly that mens' main language is physical touch(0:26-5:55). Charles' father gave them the Five Love Languges book when they were in premarital counseling and it opened his eyes to how he approaches his relationship. The pandemic also exposed some things within their marriage. Both Shireen and Charles are triggered when they don't feel seen or appreciated. If Acts of Service is the love language, both the giver and recipient have to be clear that its valuable. For some its gift giving, but if the recipient doesn't care about material things, its pointless. The world gets to see the fun version of Charles, but at home he's a different beast. He believes words of affirmation should be earned (no participation trophies). He only wants to celebrte milestones so they can be grandiose, while Shireen has said her basic needs aren't being met sometimes(6:08-16:07). They're both itentional about the time/energy they give to each other, since many of their trips are work related.(Pause to take the love language test). Shireen's love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation and quality time. For Charles, its acts of service, quality time and receiving gifts. Charles claims to value the small thoughtful things and feels like Shireen rests on him just buying everything he wants for himself. Shireen says its impossible to surprise him or buy him things and that all the little things she does on a daily basis have just become part of the routine(18:45-26:53). Shireen says all she wants is help putting the kids to bed sometimes. Charles treats financial provision as an act of service, how he's been showing up is not enough and he admits that(29:45-36:10). Charles admits that he doesn't make surprising him easy and that they can both improve on how they display their love. Shireen tried to plan a birthday party for him and asked him to hold the weekend and he booked a trip to NY. Now, she says, surprises are done. Friends and children are impacted by expressions of love as well. Charles says as a kid he enjoyed receiving gifts from his mother while his father emphasized quality time. As he got older his mother took him on trips and he realizes now how priceless those memories are, compared to all the gifts he got. Shireen is making it a priority to be more intentional and prioritize the little things to reinforce their love for one another.