17. Dr. Kenneth Carder's Highest Calling: Caregiver

Aging Angst Alleluias

Dr. Kenneth L. Carder is a retired bishop of the United Methodist Church. He served the Mississippi Area of the United Methodist Church from 2000 to 2004 and the Nashville Area of the UMC from 1992 to 2000. In addition, he is the Ruth W. and A. Morris Williams Professor Emeritus of the Practice of Christian Ministry at Duke Divinity School.

But he'll share in this episode, that his highest calling was caring for his wife, Linda. A lifetime of togetherness was put to the test after Linda was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia and, gradually, as memories of everyday experiences, a lifetime of marriage, family members and even simple expressions of affection were forgotten. “Linda was not able, toward the end of her life, to noticeably respond to my loving her,” he said. “But I learned to love her without expecting anything in return.”

Nearly 6 million people each year in the United States live with dementia, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. Countless more are affected by its debilitating effects.

“We live in a highly cognitive society,” Carder said. “In the academic world, we evaluate people, rank people, and value people according to their cognitive functioning and communication skills. It’s very easy for us then to assume that their identity and worth lie in their mental and communicative capacities. Dementia strips away our cognitive and communicative capacities. The real question then is, ‘Who am I when I forget who I am?’”

A distinguished pastor and professor throughout the South and East Coast, Carder was teaching at Duke’s Divinity School when Linda was diagnosed.

“It sent us on a journey of learning about dementia,” he said. “For me, it meant how do I live out my baptism, my ordination and my calling in the context of this journey with dementia?”

By far, this is one of Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly's most important interview on the Aging Angst and Alleluias Podcast.

www.theverandaministries.org