E 238: When Life Feels Impossible: Helen Ngo on Pain, Purpose, and Healing

Adult Child of Dysfunction

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Helen Ngo — speaker, writer, and courageous truth‑teller who is sparking honest conversations about loss, grief, and the messy path toward healing.

After the sudden deaths of her boyfriend, niece, and best friend, Helen didn’t just lose people she loved — she says she “lost her Self (with a capital S).” What followed were twenty years of what she calls “zombie‑ing through life”: surviving the day-to-day through hyper‑independence, workaholism, and perfectionism.

Helen opens up about what she now calls gold‑star syndrome — tying her worth to productivity, achievement, and taking care of everyone else. On the outside, she was a high‑performing financial advisor, mom, sister, and friend. On the inside, she was drowning in unprocessed grief.

Her breakthrough came in therapy — the moment her walls finally cracked and she felt connection again. That support literally saved her life.

Now Helen is using her voice to help others feel less alone. Through her writing, conversations, and community meetups, she reminds us that:

✅ Healing is messy and nonlinear

✅ Grief doesn’t have a timeline

✅ You don’t have to pretend you’re fine

✅ Your story isn’t over — even when life feels unbearable

Helen’s message is simple and full of hope:

“If someone can see themselves in my experience — if my story can be that one spark of hope that says ‘me too, and I made it through’ — then every vulnerable moment is worth it.”

We explore:

✨ What it’s like to spend decades in survival mode

✨ Why productivity becomes a coping mechanism

✨ How connection — not isolation — is what truly heals

✨ What she wishes the world understood about grief

✨ The moment she chose to start living again

If you’re grieving… if you’ve been holding everything together for too long… if you feel invisible in your pain — this episode will remind you: you are not alone, and there is still so much ahead of you.

Connect with Helen Ngo

🔗 Links to learn more, join her community, or dive into her writing:

• https://www.helenngo.com/links

• https://ngohelen.substack.com/

• https://helenngo.com/meetups

• https://www.helenngo.com/8weeks

Coming SIoon To Cocoa Village, FLorida:

My daughter , Jessica and I are pleased to invite you to the Radiant Women Wellness Weekend. December 6th and 7th, cocoa village, florida. If you are able to make it, and want to be part of an amazing weekend, you can grab the tickets here: https://www.tammyvincent.com/shop/event-tickets

Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

I work with people who are ready to heal from the inside out — especially those dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, inflammation, gut issues, or burnout. If you’ve been struggling with symptoms your doctors can’t fully explain, it may be that your past is still living in your body. Unhealed emotional wounds and nervous system dysregulation often show up as physical and mental health challenges — and I’m here to help you break that cycle. If you are curious about where you stand energetically, or just need a frequency boost, book your FREE biofrequency voice scan here: https://calendly.com/tammyvincent/complimentary-scan-demo

As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.

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