Perfectionism - Motivation or Misery

Mindset Mastery with Deirdre Maguire

Today I want to discuss something that most of us will go through from time to time, some of us (me included!) more than others.

✨Perfectionism✨

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.

What makes extreme perfectionism so toxic is that while those in its grip desire success, they are most focused on avoiding failure, resulting in a negative orientation. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance.

Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment. There is likely a social component as well, because perfectionistic tendencies have increased substantially among young people over the past 30 years, regardless of gender or culture.

Perfectionism can arise from a combination of internal and external factors, and its roots can vary from person to person. Here are some common causes of perfectionism:

· Cultural and Societal Pressure: Societal norms emphasising success and external validation, exacerbated by the influence of social media, contribute to the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards.

· Parental and Family Influences: Growing up in an environment where parental approval is contingent upon achievement or success can foster perfectionism, as individuals internalise the fear of failure or rejection.

· Personality Traits and Insecurity: Certain personality traits, such as conscientiousness and a strong desire for control, along with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, may contribute to the development of perfectionism as a coping mechanism.

In a world obsessed with perfection, the journey of embracing imperfection might seem daunting.

However, it is a path that can lead to profound self-acceptance and personal growth.

Embracing imperfection is about acknowledging that being flawed is an intrinsic part of being human.

By letting go of the pursuit of unattainable perfection, we can unlock the true potential within ourselves.

How can you overcome Perfectionism?

Letting go of the comparison mindset can help you to achieve at a high level, without being beholden to some impossibly perfect ideal.

Some steps to help you to achieve this;

1. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your tasks into smaller, achievable goals, and set realistic expectations. Understand that perfection is unattainable, and focus on progress rather than flawless outcomes. This shift in mindset can alleviate the pressure associated with perfectionism.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. When faced with mistakes or setbacks, acknowledge them without harsh self-criticism. Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and these moments are opportunities for learning and growth.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Actively challenge and reframe negative thoughts related to perfectionism. Question the unrealistic standards you set for yourself and consider more balanced and compassionate perspectives. Recognise the value in imperfection and acknowledge that your worth is not solely determined by flawless performance. Engaging in cognitive restructuring can help reshape perfectionistic thinking patterns.