Episode 110: Feeling Lonely? A Book Review of The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer Healthier and Happier by Kasley Killiam

Medium Lady Talks

Hello, hi! Today’s episode is a review and critique of the book “The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer Healthier and Happier” by Kasley Killiam. This episode is designed to share a bit about the book, my major take aways, and a reflection on the key frameworks that might guide you to think differently about your connections. Are you a Butterfly, Firefly, Evergreen or Wallflower? Listen to find out!

Episode Summary

• I’m going to review and apply the concepts from the newly published book The ARt and Science of Connection by Kasley Killiam
• I share my review of the book, what I liked and what didn’t work for me
• Killiam writes “Health connection with other people requires a health connection with yourself. Which includes: knowing yourself, caring for yourself, honoring your needs and bringing that authentic self into interactions with others.”
• “Research has shown that lonely people tend to be hypervigilant in social interactions and more prone to focusing on the negative than the positive: more guarded, they have more self-doubt, they might feel more self-conscious and make more assumptions about their interactions.”
• These realizations from the book have me asking: Are you lonely? (PS It’s totally ok and normal if your answer is yes)
• Interactions as millennials and mothers might be laden with a lot more nuance and context that adds to this hypervigilance and monitoring of our interactions in a way that leads to self-criticism and more loneliness
• Connection (even healthy positive connection!) will always require time and energy, yet time and energy usually feels like a scarce and precious resource for millennials and mothers
• Is social health different for Millennials than other older generations? I think so!
• I’ll share the four connection “personalities” outlined by Killiam: Butterfly, Evergreen, Firefly and Wallflower PLUS I couldn’t help but add a fifth personality of my own!
• How do you know how to improve your relationships? There are 4 options: Strengthen, Rest, Tone and Flex
• Once you gain awareness about the way connection meets your needs and how you want to improve your connections the hardest part is likely going to be taking action - and seeking connection from others to meet those needs - relying on others to respond to those needs: you can do it!

Other Episodes you might like:

Episode 109: Medium Lady Unfiltered: Three Truths About Motherhood Content on Instagram and TikTok

Episode 107: From Anxiety to Action - How to reclaim your mental headspace with guest and coach Madeline Farquharson

Episode 108: From Self-Neglect to Self-Care - Prioritizing your Needs with guest and coach Madeline Farquarson

Episode 83: Is your Self-Care Helpful or Harmful - A book review of “Real Self Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness” by Pooja Lakshmin MD.

Introverts and Extroverts with Handsome Face

Other Resources mentioned:

The Art and Science of Connection by Kasley Killiam - on Overdrive!

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