Communication: Understand Verbal and Non-Verbal Cues

Love, Life and Lies

Communication takes many forms and is both Verbal AND Non-Verbal. Studies suggest that approximately 65% of communication occurs nonverbally and most only remember or retain between 25% and 50% of what they hear.
Many are oblivious to understanding nonverbal cues, therefore miss out on critical information. Most don't realize what information they are giving with body movements. Some are more profound than others,
Non-Verbal areas of focus include:

• Eyes - Are they directed at you? Where do they look when answering a question?
• Head movement. Are they nodding in agreement?
• Lips. Do they smile? Is it a sincere smile or forced?
• Feet. Where are they pointed? When seated, what is happening?
• Legs. Which way are they crossed? Are the knees closed or open?
• Arms. Are they crossed in a defensive posture?
• Hands. What are they doing?

Too many people focus only on what is happening verbally and are only focused on themselves, rather than having a true conversation. They often more focused on what they want to say rather than the messages in the conversation.
Verbally, folks could be so much better if they practiced some basic skills:

• Listen - Listen - Listen.
• Shut up and wait until the other person finishes speaking. Don't talk over them.
• Ask open ended questions and ask follow up questions.
• Paraphrase what you think you heard and get agreement.
• Don't try to One-Up the speaker. It's not a competition.
• Don't turn it around and try to make it about yourself.
• Don't dismiss or minimize the other person's concerns as a way to sooth them.
• Don't lecture, Insult or give advice unless it's requested.
• Follow up if they are hurting and don't commit to an action you can't do.