Chizuk for Difficult Times

Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear

One of the greatest tools that we have to give us chizuk for difficult times are the real life stories that other people share. We are able to see the Yad Hashem very clearly and it helps us have hope even when things are looking very bleak. A woman sent me some details of what took place during her last pregnancy which will give us a tremendous amount of chizuk. She said when she was nine weeks pregnant she began to bleed and the doctor told her she needed to take it easy but most probably would miscarry. She quit her job and was confined to bed rest. At around sixteen weeks, the baby tested positive for down syndrome and spina bifida. The baby was also reading two weeks behind in development. The doctor said not to worry about all the problems because she was going to miscarry anyway. Confused and broken, she didn't know where to turn. She stood in the parking lot of the hospital and began strengthening her emunah that it was all in Hashem's hands and it was all for the best. She received a text from a Rebbetzin of hers asking how things were going. She then called the Rebbetzin and told her what was going on. The Rebbetzin connected her to Dr. Rebarber who confirmed her worst fears. He said the baby's spine was completely curved. The fetus was head to toe. The foot was backwards and would need surgery right after birth. It had heart issues that required them to get a fetal echo twice a week. It was so bad that the doctor told her, "I don't know what you would consider a worst case scenario, having the child or miscarrying." When Chanukkah came around she forced herself to pray by the candles for a completely healthy baby, although that did not seem at all possible. For the time being she was still seeing her doctor in New Jersey. The baby turned 20 weeks and she asked him a question. She forgot the question but will never forget his response. "I can't save your baby until 24 weeks, so do whatever you want." Those words hit her very hard. She had a moment of complete Emunah in Hashem. She said to herself about this doctor, you were never the one saving my baby. She left and never went back. She finally started praying the right way to the Doctor of all Doctors. In the meantime things were getting worse and worse, more appointments, more complications. She felt her prayers were making an impact, but each sonogram seemed to say otherwise. They were told to terminate the pregnancy once again but she encouraged her husband not to listen and to rather continue with the pregnancy and that's what they did. At 29 weeks the baby was only 22 weeks developed. It failed a breathing test. She was hospitalized because the placenta was failing. Things looked the worst they could possibly get. She knew she was in Hashem's hands and only He had the final say on what was going to happen. The NICU team told them a bunch of horrific scenarios, and at the end of their gruesome speech they said not to worry about any of this, because the baby is too small for the ventilator so it won't live anyway. They did a c-section and announced it's a girl. She was praying the entire time asking Hashem to let the baby live. Baruch Hashem the baby came out crying which meant it was breathing. Each team at the NICU slowly came up with their findings. Cardiology said, "I don't know what they were talking about with the heart issues. There are no holes. The heart is perfect." This woman kept a google docs sheet with every issue the baby was supposed to have. The ortho team came and said her foot and spine are perfect. Each team was astonished with their findings. Dr. Rebarber called to say he couldn't believe the baby was alive and healthy. The baby did need to be in the NICU for 188 days and did need to come home with a feeding tube but now she is turning three, completely healthy, Baruch Hashem, and going to school like everyone else. From every issue they were told the baby had, she had none of them. Hashem showed everyone that He is in charge and once again gave chizuk to all of us to know we can always hope to Him for the best results, no matter how bleak a situation seems to be.