7: The Pressure to Be Perfect, How Parental Anxiety Fuels the Cycle

Do Less Parenting

The Pressure to Be Perfect, How Parental Anxiety Fuels the Cycle

Robyn explores how a parent’s own anxiety and perfectionism can unintentionally increase anxiety in their child.

In this episode, therapist and mom Robyn Isman takes a closer look at the role parental anxiety plays in children’s struggles. She explains how parents’ pressure to get it right, do it all, or prevent every mistake can unintentionally model fear and reinforce the very cycle they want to break. Instead of creating safety, perfectionism can pass along anxiety and leave children feeling less capable.

Robyn shares her own reflections as both a parent and therapist, offering examples of how this cycle shows up in everyday family life. She gives practical strategies to help parents notice when their own anxiety is leading them to hover or over-correct. She also highlights simple steps parents can take to pause, regulate, and respond differently.

By the end of this episode, you will see how lowering the pressure to be perfect can free both you and your child. You will feel encouraged to shift from control and over-accommodation to connection and support, creating more space for independence and resilience.

Shared Resources:

• Follow Robyn on Instagram @parentingtheanxiouschild
• Parenting the Anxious Child Membership
• Sign up for Robyn’s Newsletter and find additional resources