341 | DA+3 Group Guide: Patei Iyegha

DadAwesome

Unlock five steps to become a moment-maker dad. In this DA+3 Group Guide, Patei Iyegha will encourage you to slow down, create “sticky moments,” and reflect on your family’s values. Tune in to this bite-sized episode and walk away with practical ideas to become more intentional and present as a dad.

Key Takeaways

• Power of Words: Actions speak louder than words. Pay attention to the words you are speaking over your kids.
• Slow Down: Slow is pro, so lean into simplicity and creativity.
• Technology: Take back 13,000 hours with your kids just by spending two fewer hours a day on your phone.
• Sticky Moments: Invest in connection now so you’ll have influence in the future.
• Family Values Audit: Your time and money will always reveal your priorities.

DA+3 Group Guide Discussion Questions:

1. Are there any words or phrases your parents said that have stuck with you since childhood?
2. When did you last ask your wife or kids to audit your words?
3. What holds you back from slowing down and embracing simplicity and creativity?
4. Why do you think slowing down is important as a dad?
5. How has your phone/technology use changed over the years?
6. What would you do with an extra 13,000 hours with your kids if you put down the phone for 2 hours a day?
7. When thinking about your own childhood, what “sticky moments” stand out to you (ex. fried egg Fridays, family Bible story time, Christmas light adventures, etc.)?
8. Do you have any existing “sticky moments” that your family regularly looks forward to?
9. If you were to pull up your calendar right now, what percentage of time is spent with your family?
10. What are three ways you can invest time and money to create closeness with your kids?

Patei Iyegha

Patei Iyegha is a trauma surgeon who lives in the Twin Cities with his wife Andrea and 8 kids, ranging from 18 to 2. When he’s not working or spending time with family, he’s probably training for or competing in an obstacle course race or other endurance event. If it’s hard, he’s interested!

Key Quotes

• 6:31 - "The idea of a glowing device that's in our pocket, that's with us, it's in our cars, it's at the kitchen table, the glowing device. It was only campfire and the sun. You can't even look at the sun. It's too powerful. So it was like looking at a campfire as your one option for something that glows. It's mesmerizing. It draws our attention. Well, the phone is doing that, and it's harming our families. It's harming my family the amount of time I spend on my phone."
• 7:48 - "If your kids want to be with you and want to spend more time with you and begging for you, that's just going to give you more influence over their lives. So, when it comes to those harder conversations, when they're pre-teens or teenagers, you've got a lot of investment in there because you've been spending the time, speaking into their lives. They've enjoyed being around you, they trust you, they love you. It just leads to more influence when they get when they get older."

Links from Today’s Conversation

• 49 | Adding Action to Being a Moment Maker Dad (Patei Iyegha)
• The Power Of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
• SUMMER SALE in the DadAwesome Store: Get 20% off when you use the code “tanktop”

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