Deepening Your Friendships

Courageously Unconventional

Last week, I did a podcast episode called Putting Yourself Out There to Make New Friends.

I got a follow-up question from one of my listeners, asking how to prioritize deepening the connections once you've made them. I think this is such a great question because, for most of us, having deep and meaningful relationships is one of the most important things in life. In Bronnie Ware's list of the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, one of the regrets is: "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

I decided to reach out to my community of coaches for advice. Here's what they had to offer:

1. Not every friendship needs to go deeper. Some friendships are great just as they are. Maybe you have activity buddies—friends you love hiking with, going to see concerts with, or grabbing a drink with, but you keep things light and fun. And that’s totally okay.
   
2. If you want to get to know someone better, tell them. It’s similar to dating—you may need to make the first move in order to have a deeper relationship.
   
3. Consistent facetime is key. To build a deeper friendship, you need regular, consistent contact. It doesn’t have to be daily or even weekly—setting up a monthly or quarterly meet-up can work too.
   
4. Start with positivity. Friendship expert Shasta Nelson suggests that a strong friendship needs a 5:1 ratio of positivity to negativity. For every 20 minutes of venting, offloading, or personal self-disclosure, you want to balance it with 80 minutes of fun and light-hearted moments.
   
5. Build vulnerability over time. True friendship deepens with vulnerability. Share your personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences as trust grows.

A special thank you to the wonderful coaches in my community who contributed to this episode: Denita Bremer, Sarah Yost, Zayne Khan, Diana Murphy, Kenneth Li, and Mande Pratt John. I appreciate you all!

Mentioned in the Episode:

• Courageously Unconventional Podcast, Putting Yourself Out There to Make New Friends https://lynngrogan.com/putting-yourself-out-there-to-make-new-friends/
  
• Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriends by Shasta Nelson
  
• Frientimacy by Shasta Nelson
  

Connect with Lynn Grogan:

• If you’re curious about coaching and want to experience it for yourself, sign up for a free 1:1 private coaching session with me at https://lynngrogan.com/work-with-me/
  
• Let's Connect! Find me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lynngrogan/

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Original music by David Delaney of The Whiskey Boys: Linktr.ee/whiskeyboys

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