Is Positivity just oblivious contentment?

Alchemy For Life

What is Positivity?

You may think that ‘positivity’ doesn’t belong with such states of being as OCD, Anxiety, ADHD and the others featured in this 13-part series, but I think it does because it is markedly different than the average person. Positivity isn’t just being nice. Positivity isn’t being positive blindly. It is a state of being in which your base level is high positivity. You tend to see the big picture and your scale is set properly (see below).

The Reality of Positivity

The reality is that this state isn’t just being cheery, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and not sweating the proverbial small stuff. People tend to be suspicious of people who are very positive. We think they are so nice to us because they must want something. They don’t. We think they aren’t listening or taking something to heart. They are.

My Experience with Positivity

It can get a bit daunting when you don’t know a lot of people who are also positive. When everyone else is down most of the time, and seem to always seek out the negatives you can feel a bit left out. Strangely enough, being the positive one can really make you feel like the odd duck when something doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers other people. When you speak up about it they tend to think you are taking the side of the opposition when in fact, you are simply expressing your perception of what’s happening on the whole.

People like commiseration and they will view your positivity sometimes as condescension, lack of empathy and lack of interest.

Sometimes with positivity, no good deed goes unpunished.

It of course is part of the human condition to have ups and downs—by design.

I have often said that without fail people who seem the happiest and kindest are the people who have gone through the most difficult of times. I have said that their scale is set properly and they actually know what zero feels like.

(listen to the story demonstrating this on this episode)

Coping with Positivity

It might sound odd to ‘cope’ with something good, but there are downsides to this. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the silent one gets nothing. So, being positive and not complaining, and not speaking up when something isn’t perfect can mean that you get less attention, less forgiveness and, understanding. Sometimes you have to remember to ‘let something get to you’ so that you have an equal and opposite reaction to things in your life—instead of sitting idly by and envying those that always speak up and are treated with more respect.

It’s a delicate balance.

The Positivity Charm

I designed the icon for this one simply as an up arrow. Because the charms have a loop and actually have an up and down, this arrow always points up.

Alternative uses and meaning for this charm:

• A reminder to be more positive, if you struggle with negativity (especially because of our built-in negativity bias)
• A reminder that you have a lot going for you, or perhaps just one thing that always makes you smile when you think of it (or them)
• It can be your talisman for avoiding negativity
• The up arrow may remind you to look up to where you believe all the good emanates.
• It may be your spiritual reminder
• Perhaps this helps you to elevate your conversations.

You can always go to https://www.alchemyfor.life/balancecoaching/charms/ for the latest news on them and grab one, or two.

Remember: whatever your state of being, whether you grab a charm or not, you are seen. Join the community if you want to chat about this episode. It’s free.

This episode is part of a 13-part series on ‘states of being’ on the Alchemy for Life™ podcast hosted by Mark Bradford. Over 250 episodes are available on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube and anywhere podcasts are consumed.

Resources:

The podcast episode on the web

The podcast episode on iTunes

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