2 Hackney marshes footballers discuss the farce carnival that is Premier League football.
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HAKIM ZEROPECS AKA GALATASARARRRRRGGGGHHHHH
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1:03:38
ALKMAAR, PALACE, CITY, VILLA AND GALATASARAY... ON WE MARCH TO BILBAO?! FROM "WE HAVE NEYMAR" TO " "GALAHORRORSHOW" ACH FOOK IT.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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12 corners in the first half. My word. Look forward to our potted history of AZ Alkmaar. Mousa Dembele's team and Jonny Metgod... if you know, you know. onto Palace!The Tottenham Chronicles által
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It's been a case of the 'Bad' (Arsenal, 0-1), the 'Fugly' (Coventry 1-2) and the 'Good' Brentford (3-1) in the past week and next up we welcome Qarabag to the WHL on Thursday in the Europa followed by an Old Trafford showdown that never disappoints in terms of tragedy against a knock-kneed Yanited on the Weekend. We deep the City - Arsenal game, Ro…
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"SPURS LACK CHOLISMO" NEW2-1SPURS
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58:45
Newcastle away...🥶 Well at least we didn't have our arses handed to us...So...there's that.😇 Pep Guardiola called it. "Pre season is over" with the first 3 games before the nations league tomfoolery and Spurs in that time have drawn, won and lost... 🤠 Cardoso, Lo Celso and Dan Burns OG's...yummy.😜 Assna next.... oooo yeah Up the Spurs…
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NEW SEASON, FOOK THE REST!!
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An opening Leicester 1-1 draw and a resounding victory (4-0) against a zombie Everton team at home... It's the 2024/25 season ladies and gentlemen and we've got Europa bollocks to contend with so don't get too comfortable. It's Porro, Bissouma, Son and Romero all leading the charge and it's the Newcastle graveyard next. Ouch.…
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FARCE CARNVIAL SPURS 0-2 CITY
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1:25:05
The strangest game.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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BRYAN GIL IN GOAL AGAINST CITY! LIVERPOOL 4 -2 SPURS, CHE 2- 0, SPURS 2-3 ARSENAL
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1:25:20
Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away when we've all mentally checked out. Auuuugggghhhhhhffffttttt. Here's to relegating mighty Burnley at the weekend! ROLL ON NEXT SEASON!The Tottenham Chronicles által
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OWNGOALECOGLOU - 3-1 FORREST/ MURILLO (OG) VDV, PORRO
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1:24:43
Ange Postecoglou's system relies on pull backs which in turn lends itself to Own Goals, this week we discuss whether Ange gets a goal bonus for these rather delicious opposition resilience breakers. Spurs have created the most OG's in the league so we ask does that mean that Spurs are saving on goal and assist bonuses this season and does Levy give…
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FLUSHED AWAY (INTO THE THAMES) 3-0 FULHAM, MUNIZ 2, LUKIC 1. FACK.
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1:10:33
We interrupt our transmission to play a hand of Football Trivial Pursuit (circa 2005) because Tottenham were so awful in their 3-0 humbling at the hands of a buoyant Fulham. Top 4 is still very much on, but crikey it's going to be bumpy! Luton at home next. Come on!!! follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicle…
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KEVINDEBRUYNESARR_ 0-4_VILLA, Maddison, Johnson, Son and Werner!
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1:09:48
Spurs will decide where the title goes. Nice warm up for next year. Yeah booooiiiiiiThe Tottenham Chronicles által
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AFCON and the ASIAN cup is over for our boys. Injuries are thing of the past and everyone is back. We have scores to settle...and no Europe to distract. We 5th and dangerous...most nourishing. follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/…
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PORRO PORRO SAUCE (1-0 Burnley, FA CUP)
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1:25:26
Timo Werner appears out of nowhere, Radu Dragusin arrives and dreams of Madrid (according to chatty agent) and VDV and Romero might be fit for Old Trafford. Son, Biss and Sarr won't be with us and the January transfer window is gaping and yet we've already got 2 in the sack. A narrow victory over Burnley in the FA Cup is discussed with City to come…
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Porro = Barca, Romero = Madrid, Sarr = the universe
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A power-lifting City 3-3 last gasp draw, a gut-dropping 1-2 at the hands of the Spammers and a resounding Barcodes pummeling 4-1 - that's entertainment folks! Things are looking up. Onto the City Ground! We discuss giving Romero the armband, to keep his value high and on the pitch, why 2019 sucked the life out of Ten Hag and why Richarlison will "h…
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DISEMBOWELMENT - CHELSEA AND WOLVES
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1:11:27
Well, the Ange love-in was vomit inducing anyways and 2 defeats on the bounce represents the death of that. (which is a relief) We are now faced with pure and unadulterated shit-stormery through course of December with no International breaks to catch our fall. After an egregious slice of cataclysmic misfortune against Chelsea that repeatedly had i…
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SPURS TOP DOGS? OR IS EVERYONE ELSE DOO DOO?
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Crystal Palace 1-2 (Ward OG & Son). Still top. It's November. Crimes! Until we play City I don't know where we are. ARRRRRGGGHHHHFFFFTTT. We discuss El Classico, the Manchester derby and the return of Pochettino! Hurrah follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamc…
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No EZE, No OLISE, No problem, right? + 2-0 Fulham Review.
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We can go 5 points clear with a win against a Eze and Elise-less Crystal Palace. My word. We look back on Fulham at home (2-0, Son, Maddison) and spend some time on our own personal football odyssey to Barcelona for a veterans, 5-aside tournament. We bombed. But what a tear up! Up the Spurs.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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OLI SAYS DELAY_ARSENAL_2-2_LIVERPOOL_2-1_LUTON_0-1
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No words, we are top of the league.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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ARRIEVEDERCI DON PENITENTIARY
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How on earth do Arsenal beat us? Dey fucked. Snatching a 2-1 victory against a relegation fancied Sheffield United with a 98th (RICHY) and 100th (KULU) minute winner sets up the Arsenal nice and cozy. We are a different Spurs. We are the same. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/totte…
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ROMERO SLAPPED IN LA PAZ
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Ashley Barnes couldn't save Burnley this time as Vincent Kompany got his city arse handed to him. We discuss international break and Sheffield Next! Up the Spurs...The Tottenham Chronicles által
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This week we discuss how defenestration works during a transfer window; the cozy Bournemouth victory on the South Coast and the ignominious exit of the the League Cup at the hands of Marco Silva's Fulham. Turf Moor next! Welcome to the madhouse Brennan Johnson! follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron…
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PASS UDOGIE ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE_S4_E2_BRE2_2_TOT2_0_MNU
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1:10:45
The start of the Ange dynasty began a heroic 2-2 draw against Brentford followed by an emboldening 2-0 victory against an expensively assembled and crap Yanited. Our esteemed panel discuss scoring a goal with the aid of a concussion and Yves Bissouma nutmegging Casemiro and thus taking all his UCL medals in one fell swoop. We finish by trying to ta…
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Our best player is going to leave...or is he? Pre season has been less than ideal, bounced around the sub continent with very little to show for it. But, Spurs are different, back to the old, something perhaps we should never have turned our back on but here we are. Toughen up guys cos the season will be wild.…
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It's the dead zone of football and podcasts are truly scraping the barrel. We aren't dead but we are bloated with preseason tittle tattle. We discuss Harry, Hojbjerg, Vicario, Solomon and Van de Ven and our new vibes manager Angelos Postecoglu who we all hope is something more than just vibes. But hey, the back 4 is back (with no one able to fill t…
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BACK TO THE FUTILE aka the CONTENUUM CONTINUES
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1:19:04
SPURS 2-3 BOURNEMOUTH. A grizzly affair. Apologies are in order - throughout the episode admin was testing out a wet fart sound effect (seemed fitting) that would record live but it didn't make it onto the imported files(we'll investigate this). So it would appear to the listener that we are laughing at nothing (again, fitting given Spur's finale t…
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THATCH-FIXING AKA GOOD BYE CONTE
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So VAR in the end cut shorter Conté's reign (by 10 weeks). Wiithout that BS decision at Southampton Spurs would have been 3rd and the Italian would still be here. I suppose it's better this way. Oh well the football was excrement...but his first full season? Ouch. But we've kept all Conte's staff...whichh means he's still here, so it was a personal…
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😶🌫️3-3 against bottom of the table Southampton. 3-1 up with 15 to go. Ouch. I even watched Brentford during the week to get a steer on them. Sheeesh.☹️ 😡Conté has done a "Burnley" and given us piece of his mind in what has become his yearly address but will he be around to pick up the pieces after this instance of oratorical fireworks where no pri…
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”Rosso Misery” aka Cups Runneth Dry 0-0 (0-1) AC Milan_Out of UCL
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Fakinel. We are on the floor. 2 goals in 6 games. Out of the FA Cup, Adama'd at Molineux and then 180 minutes of slow fade to black against AC Milan for Spurs to exit the UCL. This is a tough one. Recorded straight after the game. Too annoyed to publish immediately. Here we are. We did beat Nottingham Forest, so, Top 4 is still on but twas a bitter…
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”You’re Skipp, Ahhh” 2-0 (Skipp, Kane) v Chelsea.
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2-0 v Chelsea. (Skipp, Kane) 26th feb 2023 For 20 years Chelsea have been a jacked up Frankenstein, today, a bloated corpse circumventing FFP by being execrable. We’ll enjoy this one. This week we salute academy graduate Oliver Skipp, fulfilling his boyhood dream of scoring for Spurs; 13 years in the making. For all the shite that surrounds the gam…
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Stellini the Genie
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1:09:34
🤪Lloris - retired from international football, Bale plays golf full-time, Paratici could be going to jail, Doherty is fired (mutually), Kane top Spurs scorer ever, we finally get Porro, City to get relegated due to financial tomfoolery and Conté's bile duct expl🤬des. It's been a fun few weeks for Spurs and, dare I say it, things are aligning rather…
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"End of the World" after Villa (0-2) they said - but then the Palace away (0-4) victory was so comprehensive, which makes everything strangely the same. Listen close, Tottenham will go to the wire... it will be most absorbing... Arsenal next...most delectable. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.…
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”Merry G-tech-mas.”. 2-2 Brentford Away
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We're back, the World Cup was wonderful, but the world really knows what time it is... and the Premier league is all that anyone could wish for...until you draw 2-2 with Brentford... The Hackney Marshes maestros talk the World Cup shinning lights and what it takes to beat off the attentions of Chelsea, Manchester United, and Arsenal. We're in store…
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This week it was Tottenham's turn to feel the wrath of the scourge of top flight football: VAR. We chat through the advertising potential of VAR adbreaks and why 60 second countdowns are the answer with fireworks and dancing ferrets. We discuss playing a weakened team against Newcastle United (1-2) which backfired horribly in a match which consiste…
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WHEN’S KULU BACK? S3_E9
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🤣Eintracht (H 3-2), 😒Everton (H 2-0) and 🥶Manchester United (A 2-0) The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Up the Spurs, still third, top of Champers league group...it's quite good, you know...but fack me, we've got loads to do.☠️✊🧶 follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buy…
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”Bell of Shame” S3_E8
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Arsenal, Frankfurt and Brighton. 352's, 1st Saint Marco Regiment and Gian Piero Ventrone. Frankfurt and Everton at home. ticking over nicely. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcvThe Tottenham Chronicles által
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Sporting Lisbon sucker punch (2-0) and a Leicester City mauling (6-2)... On track firmly, we are.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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A 2-1 MASSACRE (FULHAM) S3_E6
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🧉A comfortably uncomfortable 2-1 win (Hojbjerg and Kane) against a Fulham side that until only until the last knockings of the match offered any resistance; which was preceded by an utterly forgettable (1-1) draw versus West Ham at the London Stadium in a match that we've all seen hundreds of times before- but nowadays we don't tend to lose. So a H…
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Rich-Snarl-ison_S3_E5_FOREST 0-2 SPURS
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53:17
👍A 0-2 victory at newly promoted Nottingham Forest courtesy of Harry Kane leaves Spurs sitting pretty in the top 4 after 4 games behind Arsenal and Manchester City. 👺We discuss the splendour of Richarlison and how we must all used to attritional football and enjoy the tears of others, interspersed with some moments of genius to lighten the mood, ju…
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PSG, SPORTING AND COPENHAGEN in the Champers League please S3_E4
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🐺Wolverhampton (1-0 Kane) was a bit of a dirge but in a long season with a World Cup in-between, Spurs will need to keep ticking over with results like these whilst Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United look to gory rebuilds. 🐐We discuss the rare genius of Harry Kane and look ahead to malformed Forest. (They are too early in their development to…
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Stole a point from Satan. S3_E3
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2-2 v Chelsea. We ate turd for 90minutes and stole a point from Satan's clammy and mostly dead clutches. We discuss, hair pulling, Cuti cutting Havertz in half, evil, spitting on Eric Dier's shorts, Rich-snarlison, vomit, the absurd ambidextrousness of Perisic, the soon to become crowd favourite Bissouma and the enduring and flailing menace of bott…
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”Kulu on Kouli, Chelsea are in trouble” 4-1 v Southampton S3_E2
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It was the 1st game of the 2022/23 season and Tottenham appear to be cooking. Southampton wilted 4-1 to a Spurs team that had purpose, poise and an unrelenting appetite to tenderise. Ahem. We the turn our attention to Chelsea in the 2nd game of the season at Stamford Bridge aka "The Dark Shrine of fallen idols" full of unheralded confidence; and th…
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”Bring the Pain” S3_E2
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🤩Tottenham are on the precipice of something truly terrifying; a team and head honcho who feel that they could crush the football universe. 🙀 This is a rare event and one that must be honoured, so rejoice. Spurs are teetering, inconceivable notions have been dreamt, impossibilities suddenly seem tangible and so as of now, the Spurs army feel tall, …
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”On me head, Richarlison” S2E20
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This is the most comfortable transfer window in recent memory: UCL qualification, an incredible group of players that is being bolstered daily by assassins and a manager that brings the pain...and as for everyone else they are recovering from Ryan Mason's wedding piss up! We talk Richarlison, Perisic and Bissouma and how the art of deception is Con…
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Without You Arsenal, We Are Nothing. S2E19
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Nuno Espirito Santo, Pacos de Ferreira, Antonio Conte and NS Mura; this season has been a wild ride comprising of pain, hardship and more pain, but inexplicably we are now 90 minutes away from Champions league football. Soccerball, eh? Our best night ever against our made up arch rivals and ill-conceived Arsenal followed by a dry Burnley match ( di…
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WINNER TAKES ALL...OR NOTHING...S2 E18
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It's a winner takes all (perhaps) in the penultimate, penultimate match of the season between 4th and 5th to maybe decide who will go into the prequalifying rounds of a competition that neither team can possibly win. Oh, this one is for the ages alright. It's a match as big as the 1991 FA Cup semi final at Wembley...and 5 years since Arsenal finish…
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”Marcus Rashford should consider joining Greenpeace” S2E17
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Losing to Brighton at home (0-1) and drawing away at Brentford (0-0) after obliterating Newcastle, Villa, Everton and Leeds to be 2 points behind 4th place with 5 games to go. The Nause-a-coaster continues apace. On the plus side, Europa league looks like it's in the Bag. Yeeeeeeeeaarrrruuhhhhvomithghgffft.…
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Gonna turn the heating off. ASSNA like a thick pair of bed socks. S2_E16
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This week we discuss West Ham having bigger games than playing Spurs as they are rolled over (3-1), Newcastle sent packing with Shelvey at centre back (5-1), Romero being better than Diaz and looking forward to ripping the souls out of Arsenal in the play off to piss on United's grave. Top 4 here we come! Extended happy days! COYS…
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”A WRECKING BALL WITH BRICK DUST FROM AN ABANDONED SHITHOUSE.” S2 E25
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A United loss and a painful reminder Ronaldo is the 34th best player on the planet at 37; followed by a Brighton routinely far from routine 0-2 victory that will only be remembered for Harry Kane's Pepsi endorsement by kicking a Coca-Cola bottle that we can only assume was lobbed by a Spurs fan. Heady days! Top 4 is somehow still on and the Arsenal…
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MATT MARADOHERTY_S2_E14
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9 Goals in 2 games without reply against Leeds and Everton to go some way to banishing the horror of our recent home defeats to set up a prize shitshow against feckless Manchester United at the Weekend. We talk loan players, the PSG collapse and why Marcos Llorente needs to sign for Spurs and why 2 images spliced together of Maradona's Body in 1986…
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THE HOUSE OF CONT_S2_E13
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Crickey! 6 points against the champions elect this season, then the abject and yet absurdly inevitable Burnley reverse to be supplemented by the beating of a soon to sacked Bielsa's Leeds and then another flacid away day at Middlesbrough in the Cup which leaves everyone connected with Spurs ever so slightly numb and wishing away the months until th…
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”I’d throw it in the incinerator, but it won’t burn twice.”
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1:21:46
This week we discuss the end of the world plus the Southampton (2-3) and Wolverhampton Wanderers (0-2) defeats. ...whilst reminiscing on our trip to the San Siro 11 years ago. FFS.The Tottenham Chronicles által
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