Is the Count a vampire? Yes. Is this bat a vampire? Probably, yes. Could this weasel be a vampire? Now you're just being silly. Ow, my leg! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhi…

A bloke who looks a bit like a vampire who lives in a vampire's castle has offered us some free food and drink. Sounds safe enough. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPP…

Inside the spooky castle of a vampire, we spend some time with an underpaid librarian deciding how much money to spend on information we could probably guess for free. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON K…

We've been left to our own devices in the woods, so the local wildlife is in terrible danger, and trespassing offences are likely to be committed. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/sprea…

Backpacking through made-up Eastern European countries is a dangerous affair. the roads are full of headless horsemen, the forests are full of bears, and the rivers are full of scuttling gnomes... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/sp…

We've met several of the Count's relatives; some alive, some less so, but they all seem willing to help us. This should be easy, as long as we don't take on any monsters with much higher SKILL and STAMINA scores... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISOD…

Heading deeper into the Vault of the Vampire, we discover this might be a very different kind of dungeon. Don't touch any door handles... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhims…

We avoid a forest full of bears to hitch a lift with a headless ghost, to risk being eaten by a dracula in the vain hope that we might rescue a villager's granddaughter. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON…

We fill up on garlic and invite a load of people to join us for a LIVE recording so we don't get scared, as we start Vault of the Vampire, the spookiest children's book you've heard two middle-aged men read today. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODE…

The president of the USA needs to be saved, but the Jazz Mind is dead. Long live the Swiss Army Knight. Probably not too long though, considering how badly last week's battles went. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy S…

The Jazz Mind faces his strongest foe yet as our listeners decided he should punch a rock monster with his normal human hands instead of running away. It's a pretty one-sided fight to the death, so don't blame us for stretching this episode out a bit. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PAT…

Last episode Jazz Mind saw off some radioactive dogs with his Jazz Mind powers, and if you were hoping animal cruelty wasn't going to rear its ugly head this episode you are about to be disappointed. Don't blame us, blame Steve for writing it. And for writing several other questionable things which have since been edited to be more acceptable for a…

We return to Titan city for another attempt to defeat the forces of FEAR, or at least keep our appointment with it this time, as Martyn steps into the sparkly boots of a new hero with the power of "Magic Move Mind." May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISO…

Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, the Silver Crusader went to his local swimming pool for a bit of relaxing down time. This is pretty much how Mark would behave as a superhero, only with more biscuit-eating involved. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US C…

With great power there must also come great responsibility. But with rubbish powers you might as well go to an amusement park, right? May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SU…

Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Yes, it's probably those things. Mark becomes an embarrassingly low tier superhero this week, bravely facing the evils of office work before creating as much street crime as he tackles. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART …

An annoying forest woman with a stupid voice wants us to unbuckle our weapon and pay a visit to her messy garden. That's the show note. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy …

After last week's action-packed episode, we wait around for some men and discuss the merits of mining licences. If you're lucky, we might have a look in a tree. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: k…

After letting a long sinewy appendage writhe all over us, we find ourselves challenging a dwarf to a pickaxe handle fight. Which is definitely worse than just using a whole pickaxe. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy S…

We're tossing coins willy-nilly, looking for a wizard for a reason we can't remember, and only finding people who are pretending not to be wizards. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spre…

There's a ghostly ladder that's DEFINITELY intangible. The previous paragraph made a point of confirming it wasn't there. Our sword passed through it, remember? Shall we climb it then? OF COURSE! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spr…

After saving him from a giant SPIDER, we feed an elderly goblin and find out what he keeps in his jerkin. The answer might surprise you! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy…

A camp full of untrained fighters needed our help, so we honourably stuck around to defend them. And all it took was for their leader to literally beg us, and for our listeners to make the final decision for us. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES:…

We start a new investigation into the missing miners and the portal of evil, as we find that elves are now dinosaurs, dwarves are now humans, cats and dogs are living together... mass hysteria. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/sprea…

The Tramp of Marching Feet is on his way, so we're going to hang around and see what he wants, whilst sticking our hands into whatever we like. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadth…

There's gold in them there hills, and also dinosaurs. We set off on a new adventure to discover the mystery of Kleinkastel, and we bring a LIVE audience with us to decide how we do it. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhims…

It's Bonecrushing time! Welcome back to Blood Island, home of the Trial of Champions and the Arena of Death. But don't let the name fool you. It's really more of an amphitheatre. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPP…

Bobby Axeman's army marches on, poking their noses in wherever they feel like in their quest to reunite an estranged couple, and maybe kill a demon in the process if there's time, we'll see. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadth…

We meet a new Axeman and a new Captain, as we continue to try to get an army to Zengis to fight a demon or something. More importantly, we need to get a family back together, and we're not going to let something like the rules of the book get in the way. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON …

We're looking for Big Richard Axeman in all the wrong places. Like barrels. Still, probably better than going into a sewer. I bet the sewers are full of nasty things, but a barrel probably won't have a monster in it or anything. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTU…

Buy a talking familiar, or buy a "special" creature? When you're in a Fantasy Made Up Medieval Times pet shop, this is the kind of quandary you find yourself faced with. As well as "will the shopkeeper just do some magic on me and rob me whatever I decide?" May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US …

We're about to be rammed by pirates, which is probably a bad thing...? But we're not going to surrender or run away, mostly because our listeners made the decision for us. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US …

With a complement of soldiers at our disposal, and definitly NO provisions, we set sail for adventure in front a LIVE Discord audience! It's a new book with new rules to get wrong, as we begin our slow march towards the Armies of Death! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART…

We've been offered some dodgy drinks from two weirdos in a pub. Better drink at least one of them, otherwise we'd look rude. It's down to the wire in this episode, with a ticking clock of poisoned body parts and only 6 STAMINA remaining... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE P…

We head to a trading post where the trading situation is unclear, follow clues based on notes we've actually taken, and see the return of a running joke which is now 400% more disgusting. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewh…

We go to the aid of a shuffling person who's falling over. But will we be rewarded or punished for our good deed? And will their name and/or title be more suited to some kind of experimental musical group? Yes, the answer is definitely yes. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE …

Orcs everywhere, and no sign of any of the medallions we're looking for. The only thing that might cheer us up is a singing Dwarf, but the chances of meeting one are so low I don't know why I've even mentioned it. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODE…

We roll the dice to see how well we roll some dice, as we find ourselves at a fair full of games that are probably not regulated by any recognised authority. Remember, Take Time To Think, and When The Fun Stops, Stop! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPI…

We start a new book with a live episode full of disgusting accidents and technical problems. Mark's angry, Martyn's stupid, and everything goes wrong. Maybe give this one a miss, I'm sure we'll do a recap next time... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPI…

There are colourful passages and even more colourful descriptions as the final battle looms on our quest to kill Mordraneth, the Stealer of Souls! But there's only one colour all over these passages by the end of this super-sized finale... May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE P…

There's a series of increasingly suggestive passages (corridors) to choose from, and there's probably an evil wizard at the other end of one of them. Or maybe there will just be more passages (corridors). Either option is probably equally exciting. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREO…

Rescue a naked old man or fight a massive half-ogre? We'll take our chances with the half-ogre, and hope the naked old man doesn't turn out to be anyone important. And also hope he puts some clothes on. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.…

If you kill a dark priest and some orcs, you should definitely rob their corpses and wear any jewellery they're carrying. They don't need it any more, and you'll look fabulous with no repurcussions I expect. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: pat…

When you haven't picked up any of the useful items the book teases you about, your only option is to break stuff. Doors, bones, hearts and private parts... at least some of these things get broken in this episode. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODE…

There's a stone statue which is made of stone, and and it wants something we haven't got, so we're going to fight it, despite the fact that it's made of stone. What a silly book. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPP…

Don't go into that trapdoor... You're a fool if you dare! Stay away from that trapdoor...'Cos there's something down there! May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US W…

It's all insensitive stereotypes and daytime TV references this week, as we rate the local accommodation and find ourselves property hunting in fantasy made-up medieval times. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT…

It's a new book so it's a LIVE episode, as we get sent to rescue a wizard from the Isle of Despair. But don't worry, it's just a name. What I mean is that the Isle of Despair is actually a peninsula. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com…

We start off responding to a weak distress signal and end up playing snooker, as Sky Lord finally starts getting good. And by good, we mean proper mental. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.c…

We go looking for a village, find a dubious alley, and end up with a space STD from a sprite. Just another day reading children's books for a podcast. May our stamina never fail! IF YOU LIKE WHAT WE DO AND WANT TO HELP US CONTINUE; SUPPORT US ON PATREON TO BE PART OF FUTURE LIVE EPISODES: patreon.com/spreadthewhimsy SUPPORT US ON KO-FI: ko-fi.com/s…