S01:E05 - Yasemin loses it

That’s immortali-TEA, my darlings

“I’m going to be bloody smashed at the end of this,” laments Lacey as she and Yasemin introduce a new drinking game in the fifth episode of season one of Pretty Little Liars, Reality Bites Me. To play along at home, listeners need only to take a sip every time there’s a mirror shot… of which there are many. Your hosts could only hope the alcohol would numb the pain of the horrors of this episode.

No man is safe from Yasemin’s wrath as she begins by ripping Byron Montgomery to shreds, mocking his parenting and the way he handles his wife’s reaction to finally learning about his year-old affair. She and Lacey rally behind Ella while she tries to sort out her feelings and figure out what to do next. As for her daughter, they’re a little less forgiving.

When Ezra tells Aria that he’ll have to hurt himself if his reading sucks, Lacey prays for his demise. “He’s so fake humble,” she adds with disgust but as Yasemin says: “Aria is no longer helping the situation.” Taking her fawning over Ezra into the public eye at a pub, Aria catches the attention of one of his old college mates – known as Hardy or Artie depending on the timestamp – and Yasemin finally wakes up to their inappropriate relationship, although initially her anger seems misplaced. By the end of the episode, however, even Ezra gets on her nerves. “He’s full of hypocrisy and I just can’t take it, he’s pissing me off.”

Even sweet, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly Emily gets rinsed by Yasemin. After forming a bond with Toby over shared music tastes, Emily promises to meet him at the Rosewood Grill only to snub him for her friends. “Betrayal,” Yasemin spits. “Stabbed in the back.” However, Lacey for once is Team Emily – pointing out that Emily followed the gossip and even she would do the same. “I will go where the tea is,” Lacey says. “Maybe Toby has a lot of tea, you’ll never know because you weren’t there,” Yasemin shoots back.

At the Rosewood Grill, Emily catches up with Spencer and Hanna’s lives. The latter is serving time at her (ex?) boyfriend’s mother’s dentist office, where she bumps into the infamous Jenna who Yasemin briefly forgets is blind, not deaf. This episode sees Hanna go undercover in more ways than one – taking on an alter ego find out more about Jenna and why she’s at the dentist office, as well as internet stalking Sean’s potential new boo.

Spencer’s dad comes home, and he needs her to help him win over some clients at the country club, where Spencer finally meets an age-appropriate boyfriend. Spencer and her father butt heads over what it means to win in the Hastings family.

“Honestly, whoever produces Pretty Little Liars needs to pay for my therapy,” Lacey says during this very passionate episode.

Quotes

“I have a question – why is a dentist person wearing a cat top. Why has it got cat on it? Why has it not got teeth on it or something? I was like ooh, is it a vet? ‘Cause it just implies vet not the dentist.” – Yasemin

“And [Jenna] kind of click clacks down the hallway, as usual, and Hanna follows her, totally not suspiciously and really not weirdly and definitely like a normal person would walk down the hallway.” - Lacey

“The only problem, in Hardy’s eyes, is that she’s his student, but she’s also underage. So, if she was his student or not – it’s wrong. She’s sixteen and you are what? 24, 25? You are a paedophile!” – Yasemin

“I love this, I love that you’re matching my energy. I thought I was going to be absolutely ruining Ezra’s character and you were going to be coming back to me like, no it’s cute!” – Lacey

“[Spencer’s] so desperate I’m like hun, it’s just tennis. It’s not life or death – honestly, you’d think that she was competing for Wimbledon.” - Yasemin

“Okay, I do not support [Ezria] in any way, shape or form – but if I was trying to rizz on my teacher and he invited me to a bar which, again, how does she even keep getting into bars underage, she’s just there, although I don’t think she drinks, anyway, but back to my point, I don’t think I’d tell some random guy that he’s my teacher.” – Lacey

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