Kelly & Tom dip into their bottomless well of floozy jokes for their recap of the final episode of Mr. Selfridge. They speculate on the George Towler/baby intelligence continuum, wish Lady Mae would join a sort of Parisian First Wives’ Club, chat about Trading Spaces, continue whining about the absence of Beatrice, declare Mr. Selfridge the Jimmy F…

Kelly and Tom soldier bravely on through their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E9. They are pretty sure time is still a flat circle, George Towler is still a super genius, Alan Greenspan gets name-checked, Mr. Grove is cross from beyond the grave, and Eyebrows has a brand-new bag. Kelly can’t remember the name of the book Mr. Selfridge is based on, Tom di…

In this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E8, Kelly and Tom really lay into Eyeliner for pretending to solve racism. They finally bid Mr. Grove a not particularly fond farewell, wonder why New New Gordon’s kids are wearing dresses, applaud Mr. Crabb’s business reasons, and continue to marvel at Jimmy Dillon’s swank apartment from the 1980s. Kelly correctly …

Kelly & Tom shout a list of the most British things they know in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E7. They also shout NO at Lady Mae and Kitty a bunch of times, encourage Mr. Selfridge to finally hire a lawyer, talk smack about Spinner from Degrassi, and briefly experience actual feelings. Kelly invents Floozies Anonymous, Tom makes a reservation for …

Kelly & Tom shout a collective “WTF” in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E6. They marvel at the Picture of Dorian’s Uncle, wonder how much actual time has passed this season, question Fraser’s fitness as butler, gloat as Mr. Selfridge finally has to pay his bill, and nominate a much better head of security than George Towler. Kelly lets loose her opin…

Kelly & Tom record their recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E5 live from a Burger King! Not really, but what an idea! They continue to not do their research as Bumby Wallace makes his stunning, fictional debut, Harry continues to not pay his bills, the shambling corpse of Grardle lurches on, Meryl continues to not be able to act in either a literal or meta s…

Kelly & Tom choose to be…a Ritz in this recap of Mr. Selfridge S4E4. They confirm that they are not watching Game of Thrones, have numerous criticisms of AA Milne and Christopher Robin, criticize Mustache’s life choices, wish for a Mardle/Kitty spin-off, and talk even more smack about floozies. Kelly reveals her favorite phone number, Tom reveals t…

Kelly and Tom establish a trust with Mr. Selfridge S4E3, because they like to gamble like rich people. They also breathe a sigh of relief about Kitty’s childbearing prospects, hate Meryl AND Mr. Grove, confuse Violette for Rosalie, continue to question why Mr. Selfridge is drinking so much, marvel at Elizabeth Arden’s messy suite, wonder if Chekhov…

Kelly and Tom realize that S4E2 of Mr. Selfridge is as far as they watched, so it’s all new to them from here on out. They feel that the credits music is getting more and more inappropriate each week, clock two named black characters in the episode (good job, Eyeliner; your move, Baron Julian), lament the loss of the tea emporium alongside Mr. Crab…

Kelly and Tom return at last with their very belated coverage of Mr. Selfridge S4E1! They struggle to remember why they hated this season so very much, herald the return of Lady Mae, welcome two brand new floozies and a very ugly mug, lament the continued absence of Miss Towler and Monsieur LeClair, plan to see Harry “next fall,”and everyone demand…

Kelly & Tom wrap up Mr. Selfridge S3E9 and E10 in this supersized recap (thanks to Viking River Cruises, we assume). They identify the YouTube commenters of post WWI Britain, make merciless fun of Gordons Dumb, New, and New New, cheer Mr. Crabb’s vulgarity, explore the limits of the Defence of the Realm Act, ask important questions about a certain …

Kelly & Tom say well-done Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E8. They speculate about monogamy amongst cavemen, root actively for Faircut and against Ceorge, wonder if Loxley’s new cronies are just Neil Gaiman characters in the wrong story, cheer as Fake Doris serves up some serious working class realness, wonder what the heck Gerrard does …

Eyeliner rides again (in a new car!) as Kelly & Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E7. They reveal the first rule of baby daddy club, offer shares in Pets.Commissary, declare themselves fans of Regan, give some admittedly useless marital advice to Harry & Rose, grant Matthew Crawley a surprise cameo, kick a cokehead out of their apartment, and demand The Co…

It’s another Eyeliner of an episode as Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E6. This time, they discover the Elliott Stabler of Selfridge’s, sleeves that do not roll, Sergei looking like a hatrack or something, sexy telegrams, Loxley’s villainous competence, the Dowager Countess’ Shame Baby, Harry’s Nailin’ It scrapbook, and the return of Violette’s…

Kelly and Tom finally catch up to PBS with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E5, no thanks to Viking River Cruises! The Homely Architect drops a bombshell, New New Gordon outs himself as history’s worst kisser, Moustache’s soft hands are in jeopardy, Shame Baby’s origin story is finally revealed, and everyone gets Mardled. Tom’s a bit under the weathe…

Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E4 and marvel at Violettes’ theatricality, debate the merits of mutton, decide who the Heisenberg of Selfridges’ is, talk a lot about The Honeymooners, wonder if the Homely Architect is a Hufflepuff, and applaud the shockingly effective sexiness of Fat Thomas. Tom discovers that politics are hard, Kelly thinks Ma…

Kelly and Tom recap Mr. Selfridge S3E3, which continues this season’s trend of being dark and awesome. Shipping New New Gordon and Fake Doris finally pays off, Mustache gets up to some weird facial hair editing, George Towler continues to live out the plot of “Flowers for Algernon,” and Violette begins the exciting journey of sleeping her way to th…

Kelly and Tom very nearly have their sign on and sign off sorted out in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E2, which is a good thing, because they also have a lot of reactions to what is happening on the show. They are skeptical of the Russians’ Russianness, intrigued by the introduction of Mean Fat Thomas, applaud the fudgy burns of Keebler, wonder ho…

Kelly and Tom kick off their first podcast spinoff with this recap of Mr. Selfridge S3E1! Despite a severe lack of our Dark Mistress Beatrice and no sign of Lady Mae or BLENKINSOPP, the episode delivers on all the old favorites–plenty of Piven, many mustaches, husbands behaving horribly, Fat Thomas making terrible life choices, the wit and wisdom o…

Jeremy Piven talks about Mr. Selfridge, the PBS Masterpiece series in which he plays a colorful retail magnate in early 1900s London.

It’s time to close the doors on S2 of Mr. Selfridge, but not without one last recap from Kelly & Tom. They wonder how many tricks Fat Thomas turned to pay for Agnes’ engagement ring, hope Eyeliner will include more store windows next year, guess wildly at Mrs. Selfridge’s never explained diagnosis, tell Mr. Grove to slow his ginger roll, speculate …

Kelly and Tom scoop themselves in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E9. They also decipher Harry’s social schedule, uncover the identity of Edwardian Deep Throat, lament the declining standards at the Palm Court, reveal some Belgian sex tips, discover a new weasel, ponder The Spirit Of Blank, and continue pining for the stick poking kid. Kelly announc…

As the finale rapidly approaches, Kelly & Tom can’t wait to see what happens next. In the meantime, their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E8 covers a variety of not-entirely awful American accents, the Rhett Butler of the West End, New Gordon’s unrelenting dweebiness, a message from the Tillie Foundation, how to succeed in business (if you’re Delphine), t…

Kelly & Tom are completely Crabbestruck in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E7. They also get paid by the Oliver! reference, confirm that Beatrice sees all, cheer Agnes’ excellent relationship skills, hope for the return of that stick-poking kid, get completely squicked out by Mr. Grove’s urges, declare The Plunkett to be Edwardian tech support, and …

Kelly & Tom laugh at a lot of inappropriate moments in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E6. They also christen a Conehead, launch the good ‘ship Malorian, tell Monsieur LeClair to get his shit together, provide ill-informed book reviews, beg Beyonce to write a song about women of independent means, bet on Kitty Hawkins in a rap battle, lament the tot…

Kelly & Tom go back to the tea emporium in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E5, but they can only podcast while riding a bus that’s pulling away. They meet the Artful Porter, suspect Eyeliner of being a Bond villain AND Judi Dench, realize that all violins look like a naked lady’s back, fall in love with Mr. Crabbe, get excited to dine at Fat Thomas’…

Kelly & Tom deliver yet another AP English-heavy recap for Mr. Selfridge S2E4. They declare Rose to be the Columbus, OH of people, demand more screentime for Lurch, speculate about Beatrice’s claim to immortality, find themselves fascinated by the Horny Chocolatier, identify French slut-shaming as the glue that held the British Empire together, won…

In their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E3, Kelly & Tom are shockingly won over by Mr. Grove’s gettin’ it done montage, find New Gordon’s pornography unimpressive, discuss how tigers like their afternoon tea, rejoice at Mr. Leclair’s return to retail, wonder what Pimble gets up to, express concern that Harry wants a drink, imagine Eyeliner’s various delu…

Kelly & Tom recover from tax season with their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E2. They speculate that Miss Towler may be experiencing Goblin King-related interference, point out that New Gordon is no Charlie Chaplin, elucidate Jeremy Piven’s internal monologue, count all the horrible things that should be highlighted in a British “Empire” exhibition, sug…

Kelly & Tom return to the wonderful world of Eyeliner in their recap of Mr. Selfridge S2E1. They discuss the difficulty inherent in following the PBS broadcast schedule, a superior credits sequence, the perfection that is Polly Walker, Marvilius: The Lost Hogwarts House, Mr. Crabbe’s cousin, the return of Lang, the origin of mannequins, a community…

It’s time to close the doors on Series One of Mr. Selfridge–we think. It’s possible that Jeremy Piven has been running around, setting all the clocks five minutes ahead. Kelly and Tom get unbelievably angry at Mr. Grove, imagine Sherlock Without Sherlock, weigh the pros and cons of living like the Eskimo, worry that Rosalie has appendicitis, laugh …

Kelly & Tom go nuts for tea huts in their coverage of Mr. Selfridge Episodes 7 & 8. Their more quick-witted than usual observations extend to remembering that Drunky McGin exists, the plight of colorblind Edwardians, the return of Lady May’s hair bra, how Selfridge’s might have capitalized on the sinking of Titanic, Mr. LeClair’s snazzy new iPhonog…

In this recap of Mr.Selfridge episodes 5 & 6, Kelly and Tom crash headlong into a heap of scandal! They go to the papers with tales of gin-soaked bums, Jeremy Piven’s excellent yelling skills, a (nearly) fool-proof method of telling the Selfridge children apart, Lady May’s gigolo-naming system, which ‘ships are okay to support, the worst flashback …

Kelly and Tom return at long last with a recap of Mr. Selfridge episodes 3 & 4 sure to delight and amaze even the most curmudgeonly Cousins! They cover the awfulness of Viking River Cruises and the PBS video player, the over/under on whether Lady May and Ellen Love are actually vampires, Fake Gyllenhaal’s dilettantism, Nude Day at Selfridge’s, dick…

Kelly and Tom set out to change the way the internet experiences Mr. Selfridge. Their discussion of the two-hour Masterpiece Classic premiere involves a LOT of made-up names, LinneyWatch 2013, the smile that dropped a thousand panties, the Ginger Gregson, a Torchwood alien, and the niceness of people being nice to one another. All this, plus Kelly …