Subscribe for over 150 more episodes! podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe Clinical psychologist Dr Samantha Rodman Whiten (DrPsychMom.com) discusses relationships, sex, family & parenting with no BS. Unpopular opinions: don't overfocus on your kids, physical touch is the most important love language, and marriage issues are due to BOTH partners. Therapy/coaching with me or members of my team: bestlifebehavioralhealth.com. Podcast: NOT medical advice. Join my secret FB gr ...
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How Does Marriage Change At Midlife?
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At 40, the developmental psychologist Erik Erikson says that we move from the "Intimacy vs Isolation" stage to "Generativity vs Despair." What does this mean for you as an individual and within your marriage? Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/…
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Remember, If You Do Everything For Your Child, They Will Turn Into An Underfunctioning Adult
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Many people treat their child like they are completely incompetent... and then assume that, as an adult, their child will turn into a confident and competent adult. This is setting them up to fail. Here are the ways that overfunctioning for your kids hampers their life, including later relationships! A wakeup call in the age of overparenting! Subsc…
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There Is No Amount Of Time Spent With Your Avoidant Husband That Will Be Enough
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Time spent with an avoidant guy is like junk food. No amount will fill you up, because it's not the quality you need. Start asking for the right things versus the wrong things, and this may move the needle! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show…
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If you are a woman, and someone tells you what you can and cannot buy at Target, this is like being a child. Here's why not to get into this dynamic. Also covered: compulsive shopping, family of origin impact on financial attitudes, being a SAHM, and why "my money is ours and hers is hers" is BS. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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It's Usually Normal That Your Wife Is Stressed Out... And What To Do When It's Not
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Most women feel stressed out regularly. In reality, humans are supposed to feel stressed, it actually helps us perform better. Listen to be reminded of the Yerkes Dodson Law that you may have learned in Psych 101, and also to learn how to empathize and when to (and NOT to) help! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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What To Do When The Kids Walk All Over Your Wife
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This episode can be a huge wake up call for men who blame their wife for being too passive. Look inward and into your past for clues on why you may be making this worse. Included: an actionable script for what to say to your kids to change the frame. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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The Same Hormones That Made Her Feel Crazy Are Leaving The Building
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Remember, there is a real true positive of your wife's hormonal decrease! Listen and learn, grasshopper. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get…
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Of Course Women Are Sad When Their Sex Drives Decrease
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Some men think women don't care. Do you not care when you can't run as fast anymore? Everyone minds aging. But it happens anyway, and acceptance of this while acknowledging the sadness is important work. Send this to your husband to open up a conversation! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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5 Things To Say When Your Wife Is Mad
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What's covered in this awesome episode? Why, only five ways to instantly defuse conflict with your wife! Listen and learn. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe …
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What Motivates My Desire To Help Couples Understand Each Other
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The answer may surprise you, and motivate you even more to start your own couples therapy! The discussion covers my own experiences as well. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe…
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Some couples got way too enmeshed during COVID and have struggled ever since with the re-integration of extended family, going back to work, and hobbies/friends. In this episode, I go into depth about this phenomenon and tell you how to work on it if it describes your marriage! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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Working Together: Good Idea Or Terrible For Your Marriage?
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I have many clients who work together, and it works well for some and poorly for others. Here's what makes this more and less likely to succeed! And I also work with my husband so I give you my own take on this dynamic. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/…
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Some Guy Equates A Breach Of Contract Between Partners In A Therapy Practice To A Sexless Marriage And My Response
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Yet another man on the internet tries to mansplain stuff about sex to me even though I am literally a person who tells women to have more sex. Hey guess what everyone, men aren't pure victims. Just like women aren't. I fix the analogy and remind everyone that life is complex and that women aren't bait and switching unless it's the same Lifetime mov…
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Retroactive Jealousy: When You're Obsessed With Your Partner's Past
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What is retroactive jealousy and why do some people struggle with it so much? Many reasons are covered in this podcast episode, including the one where you actually are worrying for a good reason! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subsc…
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The Pros And Cons Of Starting Your Relationship As Friends
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If you originally met as friends, it can be difficult to transition into romance... but you usually have a strong foundation of mutual respect. Can you be attracted to someone you met as a friend? Can you fully transition into romantic partners, and if so, how? How does the honeymoon stage come into play in this dynamic? All this and more on today'…
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Financial Abuse And Control
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Financial control and abuse can be insidious. If your partner is the only one allowed to buy things or make decisions about how money can be spent, or if you have no idea how money is managed or what accounts you have money in, this episode is for you! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https:…
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Nobody "Has The Power" In An Unhappy Marriage
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Often, men think that the woman "holds the power" if she has a lower sex drive... just like how women think the man "holds the power" if he has a lower desire to be emotionally close. The reality is that nobody is happy or feels powerful in an unhappy marriage, not the anxious partner or the avoidant one! Here's how to rethink this, as well as why …
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Remember, more women have sex when they don't want to than men are romantic when they don't want to be... because men more are avoidant. So here's what to think about if you think romance should be "organic"... based on what I've already taught you about responsive desire in women! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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If Your Wife Finds You Attractive It Doesn't Really Matter (In This Sense)
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It doesn't really matter how hot your wife thinks you are, although you can certainly be hoodwinked by an entire industry looking to tell you that becoming hotter will lead to more sex. Here's why and how attraction doesn't matter... and the case where it does. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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Sex Positive/High Libido Women May Feel MORE Of A Drop Hormonally With Age
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Whenever I post about the incendiary idea that humans age and drives decline, some women say they are more comfortable now than when younger, which can compensate. In this episode, I discuss high vs low libido women over time, and drive over time as well. As usual, join my Facebook group if you want to see where some of these podcast topics origina…
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Don't "Try To Be More Interesting" To Make People Interested In You
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Many preoccupied attachment people think they need to develop extra hobbies or travel more or make themselves "more interesting" in order to attract people or maintain the interest of their spouse. This is not accurate. Do things you want to do if you want to attract people who value you for you! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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Fighting About Loading The Dishwasher? Listen To This
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This is a huge waste of the only time you have on this planet. Listen up for what you're really fighting about and how to think about it differently. This went longer as expected as I touched on individual-level, couples-level, and even societal-level reasons for these types of arguments!! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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"I Just Want To Be Alone" Is Now Considered A Healthy Female Ideal
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It's the era of no touch! Women who feel this way are now extolled in the media. Why this hurts marriages... but also individuals, and how to situate this in the context of social trends. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe…
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Why Being A Good Stepdad Gets Men A Lot Of Love And How To Approximate This Effect If You're Not A Stepdad
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I have long noticed that guys who remarry women with kids get a lot of love from their wives, and this topic just came up in my Facebook group as well. And it's my own situation, fwiw! What is the reason, and how can you understand it in a way that helps you get the same love from your wife if you aren't remarried? Subscribe if you love the DPM sho…
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Nostalgia For Your "Prime" And How This Impacts Men And Women
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The prime years of your life can look different based on your personality, gender, and values. Here is how nostalgia for your "prime" looks for many men and women I see in my practice, and how this impacts their relationship in different stages. Also, what if you didn't feel you had a prime? Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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Why Men Nowadays Don't Know That Drive Drops For Men After The Honeymoon Stage And With Age
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Men in earlier generations admitted this freely. Here's why they don't anymore! Included: The Coolidge Effect, testosterone, porn, and more! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all…
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Yes, Sex Is A Proxy For Connection. But, Connection Shouldn't Be Your Central Obsession Either!
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Sometimes preoccupied attachment guys use my podcasts to tell their wives how it is normal for them to be super invested in their sex lives because sex is a proxy for intimacy and connection. But keep in mind that connecting with your wife ALSO shouldn't become a central and defining obsession! NO EXCEL SPREADSHEETS ARE HEALTHY, whether you're docu…
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Why You Can't Find A Partner After Divorce
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If you're finding this very difficult, then here's a breakdown of why and what to do! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode:…
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"Gaming" or "Hacking" Your Wife Makes Her Respect You Much, Much Less
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Some guys go beyond "working on their marriage" and think they can somehow "hack" their wife to make her constantly desire them. This is silly and makes your wife think of you like a child. Here's how this dynamic plays out and why it is one of the worst things you can do! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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Should Your Husband "Be Happy With What He Gets" In Bed?
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Well, I guess you'd have to ask yourself... what is he getting in bed? This episode includes a whole bunch of extra info and includes various situations where your husband might want to think deeper about why he is unhappy! (And some situations where almost anyone would be unhappy.) Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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What To Say To Your Husband When You Don't Want Sex... Instead Of Mean Stuff
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Someone asked, "As the higher drive spouse in my marriage I do most of the initiating and hear “no” pretty frequently. Some no’s feel a lot more like a rejection than others. This is usually when they are accompanied by “we just had sex 4 days ago, you’re insatiable,” “you just have a one-track mind,” “you should just take care of things yourself,”…
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Happy Valentine's Day... Here's How To Make It Good!
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What can you do RIGHT NOW to make this an awesome Valentine's Day, and why "Hallmark holiday" is a foolish term that translates to "I'm closed minded, difficult, and avoidant." Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe…
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When in Rome... Have Sex! (The Impact Of Confident Momentum)
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If you use confident momentum, your wife will have sex... You're cultivating that culture! When in Rome... Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscrib…
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The Words To Look Out For To Avoid Women Who Will Stop Liking Sex
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Listen to this episode to save you from later heartache!! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber episode: "Why Your Partner Sends You So Many M…
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What Does It Mean When Women On Dating Apps Don't Share Their Phone Numbers?
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I'll tell you what they think it means... but why if I were your therapist, I would tell you to watch out! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent subscriber…
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Doing Chores Doesn't Turn Women On, But...
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Doing chores may not literally act as foreplay, but it certainly does turn women on in one sense. Listen and learn! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes! Most recent sub…
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Should You Wait To Have Sex With New Partner Because Of Oxytocin Being Released Or Whatever BS Theory You Read Online?
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You may be able to tell what I think of this from the title but listen up to hear why waiting months to have sex with a new partner is not very smart if you value sexual compatibility long term! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe…
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Who Are The Men Who Get Treated Like Kings?
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In a post about why some women get "treated like princesses" (https://www.drpsychmom.com/treated-like-a-princess/) I discuss how some women feel that it is random and unlucky that they don't get treated well by men, or that women who do get treated well by men are somehow exploiting these men. In fact, people get treated well if they are good partn…
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When Your Mental Health Improves... And It Tanks Your Marriage
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This is very common, although people tend to be surprised by it. One person works on their anxiety, anger, depression, or anything else, and instead of the marriage getting better... it implodes! Here's why this happens, the movie I recommend about it, and what to do about it. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! http…
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Does Couples Therapy Really Improve Sex Lives?
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It sure does! I see this in my virtual office every day. But, this is not linear progress, and it's based on a whole bunch of variables. Listen and see if you and your partner would potentially be good candidates for this... or if you should save your money! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spot…
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When Women Are Scared To Be Alone With Kids
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This is very common in women who have undiagnosed or unrecognized depression, anxiety, and/or childhood trauma. Listen to see if it may resonate with you more than you would guess! And if you're a husband... listen if you have come to realize that your wife is extremely uncomfortable or angry about any time spent in "solo parenting"... or if everyo…
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The Empathic Rupture Of Never Getting To Stay Home With Kids
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This is more common than you think! In many couples, the woman deeply regrets not having been able to stay home with babies and small kids. In this episode, I discuss why and how this regret forms, and what to do about it in various stages, including after this is impossible to change! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! …
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"Spirit Week" And Constant School Emails Are Unfair To Kids And Parents Alike
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I see constant school contact and need for parental involvement massively stress many marriages in the clients I work with. And, if you're a child in a dysfunctional or poor family, you get screwed over time and time again when your parents cannot get their shit together to get you a special outfit or don't have the money to do so. If you're stress…
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"Why Can Hookers Do It Multiple Times A Day And Your Wife Can't?"
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This is a real question I got on social media. I answer it because some guys don't understand the differences. For female listeners... this question can show you how little some men understand basic stuff about women, and how you may need to explain to your husband a LOT more about your sexuality than you ever imagined! Also covered: the rates of s…
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If Your Husband Takes Over The Emotional And The Physical Labor... Why?
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This is something I wonder about constantly when I see some young men on social media talking about taking over the emotional and physical labor of parenting. Quite honestly, I often see the woman doing as little of the gruntwork as possible, which flips the same toxic script as when men opted out of gruntwork and engaged with parenting only on a d…
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Financial Values And How They Affect Your Relationship
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Many couples struggle with understanding their own and/or their partner's larger financial values, and with communicating these in a way that can increase understanding and closeness. Here, I'll take you through a few ways I see this manifest in the couples I work with and walk you through how to have a discussion about this interesting topic! Subs…
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What Depression Looks Like In Men
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When men are depressed, it often doesn't look like sadness or tearfulness. What does it look like, why your wife isn't "the problem," how to get your husband to address it, when meds are appropriate, and more! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomshow/subscribe…
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The More Successful A Guy Is, The More Coachable He Is
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What I have learned from working with highly successful guys... and how this can impact the average guy and his marriage! Defensiveness is BAD and affects your relationships, your career, and your ability to learn and grow as a person! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/drpsychmomsho…
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Do Cute Parenting Stuff With Your Wife Before It's Too Late!
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The cute parenting activity era is finite, although it doesn't feel that way when you're in it. Here is what your wife likely wants from you, why, and what older guys tend to think about this phase when it's over. Also: watching the game every weekend while she hangs out with the kids isn't usually a good thing for the marriage later on! Subscribe …
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Younger Working Husbands Are Condescended To The Way Stay At Home Moms Used To Be
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In younger, more liberal couples, I have been seeing the inverse of the prior sexist view where stay at home moms were condescended to. Instead, the men are doing more than half the housework and childcare while being the sole provider, without sex! Here, I discuss what's going on for these couples and what to do if you're in this situation! Subscr…
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