64 A Parents Influence on Their Child's Big Emotions
Manage episode 425283567 series 3450867
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In This Episode We Will Dive into:
Strategies for co-regulating with children during emotional outbursts
Key Takeaways
- Importance of parents regulating themselves first before trying to calm a dysregulated child
- Using breathing techniques to switch from stress response to resting state
- Being open about one's own emotions models healthy expression for children
- Seeking therapy/doing inner work helps build emotional regulation skills
Co-Regulation and Staying Calm
- Prioritize getting yourself into a calm, regulated state first
- If not calm yourself, very difficult to help child regulate
- Analogy: Sharpen the ax (yourself) before trying to chop wood (help child)
- When stressed, brain can't see situation objectively - must self-regulate first
Understanding the Child's Perspective
- Big emotions are a protective response, not just misbehavior
- Use curiosity to understand what the child's "part" is protecting against
- Example: Son's outburst before Pokemon was anxiety about playing, not just defiance
Breathing and Nervous System Regulation
- Breathing through nose activates resting nervous system
- Practice nasal breathing regularly to build capacity to self-regulate
- Verbalize using regulation techniques to model for children
Inner Work and Therapy
- Andi's own journey of burnout, trauma work, and therapy
- Improved emotional skills, communication, staying regulated
- Recommend resources like The Co-Regulation Handbook
Next Steps
- Start with nasal breathing practice if new to regulation techniques
- Read The Co-Regulation Handbook and The Declarative Language Handbook
- Explore older podcast episodes on burnout, nervous system regulation, IFS
- Join Facebook group for community support
- Book 30-min call with Andi to discuss personal situation
Books mentioned
Co Regulation Handbook by Linda K Murphy - https://www.declarativelanguage.com/about-coregulation-handbook
Declarative Language Handbook by Linda K Murphy - https://www.declarativelanguage.com/about-declarative-language-handbook
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